Your worst nightmare has finally come true. A few of us have now seen Tales From The Crapper. And all I have to say is...how could you? How could you prostitute your god-given talent and sell us all out like that? What once was a landmark piece of independent cinema is now nothing more than just another mindless, soulless blockbuster for the popcorn-munching masses. I'm sure it'll make you all filthy rich once it beats Spider-Man 2 at the box office this summer but ask yourself this one thing, Gabriel Friedman. Was it worth it?

Your former fan,
Adam Jahnke

PS. Actually, we got more laughs out of it than it or we deserved. Troma should send a thank-you note to the Anheuser-Busch company for that. My only complaint... you gave Mark Adams sole credit for Cannibal Lesbian Hoedown! That's my song too, dude! We're like Burt Bacharach and Hal David. I'm Burt, he's Hal. Burt writes the lyrics. Hal just writes the tunes. And now I'm married to Carole Bayer Sager.

And kudos to you if you recognize that obscure Monty Python reference.

AJ

(Adam Jahnke is the co-author of "Make Your Own Damn Movie!")

I have been thinking about “Tales from the Crapper” since seeing it on December 5th.

First a few comments on the editing of the movie. It will kill you to hear this, but I think both stories need to be shorter. They need to be cut down to the just the sex and violence. The parts of the stories that drag or are confusing need to be replaced with a storyboard or a narrator. A “golden girl” might be an idea for a narrator; being sprayed with a yellow soda would be keeping with the toilet theme.

Cutting down the movie might require a third segment. I know that would be costly, but it might make a good movie. Since Bonervision featured the cannibal lesbian hoedown, lesbian cannibals might be a good idea.

A few things are must to keep in the movie. Trey Parker’s joke, Ted Raimi’s chicken scene, and the shot of Julie Strain exiting the car.

What a lame (even by Troma standards) costume for the Crapkeeper. I suspect you are familiar with their “Young Muff” series of adult films.
Did you try to borrow the costume Armageddon Entertainment (the porn company) uses for Terd Ferguson? If not you should have.

I hope my comments have been helpful.

Thanks for reading.

Dan Bonjorni
Vancouver, Washington