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Rock Nazis Must Die: I wanna MP3 all night & Napster every day!

by Lloyd Kaufman with Adam Jahnke

Anyone for the free exchange of ideas and art? Anyone care to watch a movie or listen to your favorite hard rock quartet without choking to death on advertising and the big corporate cock?

The recent lawsuits brought by Metallica and Dr. Dre against the MP3-swapping company Napster has already insured that students at the University of Southern California, Indiana University, and Yale (Michael Herz's and my alma mater) will be struck deaf to the ideals of free speech. These same universities that bravely fought to end the Vietnam War long before it was the fashion statement it eventually became, have decided to fold their tents and withdraw access to Napster to their students instead of face a corporate lawsuit about rock music and the First Amendment. Students at Yale pay $40,000 a year, and some of them have to suck dick to get it, only to have access to art and information taken away from them. So despite the bruised knees and lockjaw, if you're at Yale, you can't download a five-minute Metallica song, but you can sure as shit head over to the college bookstore and shell out close to twenty bucks for the fucking Backstreet Boys CD


Our Lesbians mock you Metallica

It's downright sickening that one of these lawsuits is spearheaded by Metallica. Once upon a time, this band fully subscribed to the ideals of free speech and access to art. At their early concerts, the band threw out copies of their album to the crowd. But now that they've achieved global domination with Elektra (owned by Big Brother himself, Time/Warner), they have learned to suck and swallow with the best of them. For a garage band just starting out, like Metallica once was, Napster can be the best thing that ever happened to them. They're tossing out free albums to their fans on a global scale.

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Hey Dr. Dre, our lesbians laugh at your chronic
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Past Essays

THE BEST OF CLASSIC ‘ROIDS BY LLOYD KAUFMAN
Home of the ‘Roids
Legalize It, Don't Criticize it! Troma Vs. Metallica!
Triumph of the Swill (First Napster, now Mp3.com!) Elia Kazan Sucks, It's an Oscar Outrage!
Chains Without Balls Napster & Freedom
(Part 4 in the Napster series)
Big Brother Goes Nutzoid Napster No More
(Part 3 in the Napster series)
Ralph Nader, Toxic Crusader Troma vs. Metallica
(Part 2 in the Napster series)
Going Going Gone-zalez! Rock Nazis Must Die
(Part 1 in the Napster series)
Lloyd Loses it Over the W.T.O. How Stan Brakhage Birthed the Toxic Avenger
Why I Love Gay People Art: It Ain't Always Pretty