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Fan Mail from Troma Citizens
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"Dear
Lloyd Kaufman..."
FAN MAIL TO TROMA! (2004-04/2005-12)
Want
to share your stories with Lloyd? Drop
him a line!
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December 29, 2005
Hi Lloyd,
after reading your 'roids' section on the troma website i was profoundly moved and sat in awe with deep intrigue (...too poetic, sorry)....in all seriousness, it was very interesting and I read nearly everything on there. I loved the one with Eli kazan etc . Would you consider releasing a book of this.. as i fan of troma and now your 'roids' , I could read a full book on this type of stuff....there will definitely be a market out there! hope you can reply
-Anthony
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hey lloyd
my name is Joe and I auditioned for your film Poultry Geist. Auditioning
as normal, i prepared a monologue, a song and went in after a day of
preparation from when they called me to the auditioned. I knew somewhat
of the company from the toxi avenger and such, but not too much of the
history.
After the audition, i felt i did awful, singing that could kill a third
world nation and acting as cheesy as 70s porn. I figured "Oh well,
at least i gave it a try!" Being from buffalo i was kind of looking
forward to the chance to make a triumphant return in a film but i thought
the dream was over...
Then i read your book "Make your own damn movie"...and changed
my whole outlook on everything! I realized that troma is everything
i create in my own films as well!!freedom of what i want, not caring
about quality so much as quantity, and doing what we love in life!
After reading the book i know that role of Arbie is perfect for me!
and i would do anything for you in the film for it. If you thought the
audition sucked, then call me back to redo it because with this new
outlook it will be 10,000 times better!
And also, i would love the chance to pay back for all of the cheesy
high school films i made around buffalo, finally bringing these people
a real film to work on! by this i mean locations, extras, etc. my father
also works for ABC in buffalo so i could get us on talk shows and such
to support the film!
Basically if you watch my audition and dont think it is good enough,
give me one more shot lloyd, because i feel this role deep inside and
know i am the best choice for you...as an actor and filmmaker.
Joe R
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Hi,
My name is Ponu Toivanen, 26, and I live in Finland. I've been working
on a movieserie of at least two movies and maybe even a third one. This
is what the first movie is like:
There is a storyteller that tells the story and even participates
in the events to some extent. The story starts with total darkness and
then a light sparks up spewing out all different colors and matter.
The matter cools down to a cloud that starts moving forming black holes,
stars and planets.
Then we move to earth bombarded with space debris
and a super nova exploding in the background. Plants start growing and
small organisms forming. The organisms develope and start walking the
land. The dinosaurs grow bigger and bigger, fly in the sky, walk the
land and swin in the sea. A meteorite crashes into the earth killing
all the big dinosaurs but small warm blooded animals saw the danger
in the sky and were able to take shelter in holes in the ground. After
the meteorite these small mammals evolve, get bigger and smarter and
finally start walking upright.
They start using tools and their ability
to intuitively sense each other gets better and they start communicating.
There are many different species of this animal but they die out one
by one eventually leaving only one human race on the planet which spreads
across the globe. Then I tell the story of how consciousness and free
will started from a couple in one population eating of a "magical
plant" and how this free will and knowledge of good and evil lead
to not only divinely inspired actions but also to the spread of evil
deeds. Then comes the story of Krishna... the story of Noah, Moses,
Buddha, David, ancient Greece, Roman empire and other shit... and finally
the life, death and resurrection of Jesus which is the longest part
of the movie. The story isn't just a bunch of different stories but
a continuous journey weaved together by the storyteller.
The camera
bounces into space from one story and moves to the location on earth
where the next part of the story takes place... So you get a kind of
"God perspective" to the movie.
The second movie is from Jesus to the present day, or a few years into
the future from now I guess... but that's not important... I only want
(need!) to make the first part now.
The movie is not only insightfull and intelligent but also funny and
magical, all the while staying realistic and modern... and very bold
and sexuallu explicit. So I'm looking for a moviecompany with balls...
this movie is gonna stirr up some major controversy.
Get back to me if you want a sample of the script;)
yours,
Ponu Toivanen |
hi im Siggi i was with Bjarni Gautur when we met at the icelandic international film festival i would like to thank you a great time and say i'm sorry we had to leave so soon after Terror Firmer but my mom was going crazy waiting for us. i'm sending you th cover for the toxic avenger comic book (created by Bjarni Gautur) and i hope you will watch the DVD i gave you with short films and cartoons made by ibs. well what else can i say except world peace through celluloid!!!
-Sigurður Jökull
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Hi Lloyd,
This is Steve Concotelli -- the Editor for "Attack of the Show"
at G4. Told you I'd be emailing you!
I can't tell you how great it was to talk to you after the taping.
I appreciate the chance to sit down, shoot the breeze, & hear your
thoughts on filmmaking & the industry in general.
I also wanted to thank you for the DVD's. I just finished the Behind
the Scenes for "Tales from the Crapper". I hate to say it,
but it didn't seem like those guys had any idea how to make a movie
whatsoever. I don't know if it was sad, or inspiring! Moreso, I was
impressed with your blunt & honest commentary. I think they could've
learned something from that.
Anyway, I appreciate you stopping by. I can't wait to have you on "Attack
of the Show" again!
Sincerely,
Steve Concotelli
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Dear Mr. Kaufman,
I hope that untimately you survived the shot of Lenny at the end of
the joint audiocommentary of the 21st Anniversary DVD of Toxie, so you
will be able to read this.
I received the disc a few days ago and the next day I had seen everything.
What a package, brilliant!
Much to my surprise I suddenly saw myself included in the WHERE IS
TOXIE IN THE WORLD section – the testimony I gave you 4 years ago
on the reasons why Troma (and your work in particular) were of such
importance to me.
I want to thank you for including that bit on this important disc!
I cetrainly didn’t tell you all that with eternal fame in my mind,
but I feel very proud to be a tiny part of Troma’s OEUVRE now –
and apart from that, I believe it is very important that everybody who
sees the disc learns about the fact that instead of being just a filmcompany
Troma makes art that really changes peoples lives. You sure saved mine
in a very difficult period. And continue to do so.
Now that I see myself talking again I realise that what I said is as
true now as it was then. Although things are better now that when Cynthia
had just died there still are periods of great difficulty and immense
uncertainty (kept alive by our increasingly criminal government). Without
exception if I decide to put a Troma dvd in my player at such a moment
it takes me out of this world for 90 minutes or much more with all the
extra’s included on most of them, and it is much better than any
anti-depressants or shrink have accomplished.
I have of course added my review for Toxies Birthday DVD in the Troma
Studio Store (and submitted it to 6 major online shops and IMDB. You
may be interested to know that Barnes and Noble doesn’t yet offer
THIS particular version of the film – of which I notified them
of course :O)
On a closing note:
On a 1996 promotional tape that I recently obtained (for the British
launch of Troma) you say in an interview that "if Roger Corman
and Sam Arkoff are the Beethovens and Mozarts of independent moviemovement,
Troma is like the Zampir the panpipe player compared to those guys".
For once I tend to disagree – I see Troma much more as the Strawinsky’s
or (even more so) the Frank Zappa’s of independent cinema. Brilliant
and important as though the work of the other gentlemen was and is,
the range of material that is released by Troma is Kaleidoscopic, and
the innovative quality of the films produced and directed by the Troma
team are more innovating that anything I have ever encountered before.
I truly hope that PARTS OF THE FAMILY will be ready in time to be included
in this years’s Fantastic Film Festival in Amterdam – unfortunately
I couldn’t make it last time you were here, but next time Troma
is represented I will definitely turn up.
Thanks again, for the honor of my inclusion on the Birthday disc, and
for everything.
Best wishes,
Ton Olsthoorn,
The Netherlands
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Dear Lloyd,
I want to thank you for greatly infuencing me! I am currently reading
"Make your own damn movie! I honestly can't put it down!
I am sure you receive plenty of e-mail from weirdos, wanna-be filmmakers
and other assorted friutcakes! I assure you that I am serious about
what I am doing. I recently closed my business in Colorado, sold everything
i had, and then drove to stay (rent free) with family in Albany NY....in
pursuit of my dreams/passion of making my own damn movies!
Your book has been pivotal and inspiring for me on this journey...I
frequent NYC and again will be there in April/May...I would be honored
(and probably Troma-tized) to have a chance meeting with you (I may
even buy your lunch...burritoville?).
Lloyd, thanks for writing that book!
Sincerely,
Monte
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 Hey Lloyd, Kirsten here. I helped out at the Festival of Fear,Toronto
in late August with you and your boys.Im jessica's friend, I have some
pictures of you, and some stuff from there. Theres one where we are
being filmed by MuchMusic Canada, with Ed the Sock. The others are me
and pinhead, (in the troma shirt you gave me) and i forget the rest.Good
times. Anything coming up this spring/summer I can be of assistance
of?. I dont know, lets do cocktails again. Haha. I got smashed off 3,
you Robin K and Jess were fine.
Write back,
love kirsten
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Hi Lloyd,
Our family had the pleasure of visiting Tromaville the week before
Thanksgiving (2004) and we were treated to an amazing tour of the Troma
building. You also were very gracious in spending time with us and we
came away with some great photographs as well. Ed was amazing; he spent
almost an hour of his time with us, showing us each floor of the Troma
building and providing many stories about Troma, Troma films, etc. Our
trip to Tromaville was the coolest thing we did in NYC.
This trip was prompted by our son Sam (14 years old) who has been a
horror film fan since he was about six or seven. We had to make a decision
early about his movie viewing, as all he ever wanted to rent/watch were
horror/thriller movies and not many of these movies are geared for six
year olds. While his friends were watching Disney, Sam was watching
"Night of the Living Dead". Somewhere along the way (when
he was about 11 or 12), Sam learned of Troma from the "House of
Horrors" website. This led to his viewing of the Toxic Avenger,
Citizen Toxie and other films that could be found at Hollywood Video
and Blockbuster. Sam kept mentioning Troma films around the house but
it didn't really stick until Sam showed me the Troma website. One thing
led to another and I sent an e-mail to Ed; Ed said, "of course
you can visit Tromaville" (or something like that) and that led
to our visit. My wife and I are from Trumbull and Stratford, CT respectively
and each year we take the family to CT for Thanksgiving break to see
family. On Monday of that week, we take our traditional train trip into
NYC. Well anyway, that's how we ended up at the Troma building.
Sam has had a few ideas about his future career including Flavor Chemist
and Film Director. Sam is an 8th grade honors student, taking 9th grade
classes in math, science and German. He is now convinced that he wants
to direct films as a career. Sam has been thinking about this for a
while, and the visit to Tromaville has seemed to confirm it for him.
I do not know if this will last, or what Sam will eventually do, but
as his dad, I aim to support him and encourage his interests.
Sam and I recently finished reading your book "All I Need to Know
About Film-Making I Learned from the Toxic Avenger". I have not
finished a book so fast in years! (The most disturbing film I have seen
is "Straw Dogs" but I am now seeking "Pathfinder".
I understand it will appear on DVD around Feb 23, hopefully with English
sub-titles).
I also learned from your book that Troma films only in the summer and
from your website that you have a new film in the works. This gave me
the idea to ask if there was any possible way that Sam could serve as
an "actor person extra" in this film. With enough notice,
we could go to NYC for a week or so and actually turn this into a family
holiday. I asked Sam about this idea: his response was "that would
be really cool". Of course, this would make Sam's sister a bit
jealous, so if there was any need for a very bright 10 year old in that
film.
Please let me know either way. It's an idea that could turn into a
fun event, as well as being a way for us to support Sam's interest in
films. Either way, you have some new Troma fans and your hospitality
was top shelf. We are looking forward to watching the Troma library…Our
current favorite is "Cannibal: The Musical". (Our daughter
Zoe sings the main song constantly). Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Bob
Milford, OH
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Dear Lloyd,
Why don't you revisit the territory where you first found inspiration?
You've become a legend and you are in a position to influence and educate
a generation. In the early days, you skewed the era of the late 60's/Early
70's with "The Battle of Love's Return." Now, you know that
whatever you do, Hollywood will screw you, but that isn't important.
You need to present the world something that comes from your heart and
mind as a direct testament to your brilliance as a thinker, social critic
and auteur. Yes, it's time for "The Return of Love's Battle."
The times demand it and you owe it to a blind generation of people who
need to know of the changes since your first feature came out. It would
be like the culmination of every "lloyd's Roids" essay mixed
with every genre of film in an artistic masterpiece that could not be
ignored by the world. Abacrombie's adventures and tribulations in the
world of today would be brilliant, cheap to film and unforgettable.
Unprecedented, in fact! As much as people may believe Troma is about
body fluids, boobs and head crushing, they need to see where the roots
are. Scream at the times and avenge the screwed over by offering a cinematic
cry from hell!
Think about it. Sam Fuller and Edgar G Ulmer meet Tom and Jerry in modern
NYC! We need it and no one else cares about keeping it real in this
industry.
You are all pioneers of cinema, none of you are studied half as much
as you should be in American film schools and the influence of the cinematic
work reaches out rather far, with all three having changed the landscape
of film technique and the playing field for independents. A thrust for
the article might be looking at your body of work (since you are still
alive and working hard), finding the ways in which these filmmakers
influenced the work, then going to compare the careers and influence
on cinema itself. If you have other influences (I know of Avildsen,
from your first book, but some others would be helpful). Great way to
plug some things from your Roan collection in an article, too. Additionally,
the fans may not like the idea of sequelizing Battle of Love's Return
until they see it, but Troma has always done best when taking a leap
of faith. Many people who love boobs and blood don't get the brilliance
of the first one, but you never know. I mean, I love boobs and blood
and Battle, so go figure. Anyway, Return would be cheap to shoot, have
to be done in the same B/W and Color, Interview and action style (the
B/W interviews could be digital, very cheap, and the color on short
ends). I have this weird feeling that, seeing how your philosophy has
grown over the past thirty five years, this movie would be hailed as
a major artistic leap for cinema itself and a nice screw you to the
hollywood system that has done it's best (and failed) to crush Troma
out of existence. Even the asshole from the village voice will have
to give this one its due...I'm rambling...anyway, if you think about
more cinematic influences and email me with them, I will be glad to
get to work on the article. Hell, you deserve it.
So, fans... do you want a sequel to Battle of Love's Return? Click
here and let us know! |
 I created a costume this year for halloween (as I do every year) and
I think it would appropriate for Troma. I have been a huge Troma fan
since I was about 13 and watching USA's UP ALL NIGHT. My boyfriend and
myself own collectively about 60 Troma films. I want to send this costume
as my way of saying 'thank you Troma for 30 years of reel independence.'
Let me explain the costume, it is a giant "asshole". I delicately
placed hair in the buttcrack and along the buttcheeks. The asshole itself
has a sack in it which I kept delicious mini snicker bars for trick-or-treaters,
so that they had to reach deep within my ass for a treat. This was a
fun costume for me to wear this halloween holiday and it would be fun
to see it in any Troma film or anything associated with Troma. All I
ask if you do put it in the film is to credit me with the title of ASSHOLE
CONSTRUCTIONIST, or any title that hilariously refrences to assholes.
I just need conformation if you would like me to send this. I have attached
a picture of me wearing the 'asshole'. I really would love to donate something to Troma even
if you don't think you could use it in the near future, because I have
so many costumes from years past that I don't have room and don't want
this beautiful costume to collect dust in a box.
Thanks
Jessie (Editor's note: Look for Jessie's ass in an upcoming Troma
production. Thanks, Jessie!) |
| Hello, I am eager to obtain the Toxic Avenger soundtrack, as I wish to workout
and fuck to such classics as "bodybuilder" and "bodytalk". The UK team have not answered my emails, Perhaps they are trying for
their Duke of Edinburgh awards. Any help would be great, thanks. |
Hi Lloyd Kaufman
It's Adam who made 'CREEP KILLERS' in the UK. Just a quick note to say
the movie is now finally complete and it was Premiered last week at
the Cardiff Screen Festival in WALES (where CITIZEN TOXIE was shown
last year). There's blood, there's guts, there's bodily fluids and solids
that just shouldn't be shown on the screen. It's an all round assault
on good taste and clean living. It sticks two fingers up at the brainless,
big budget, upper-class, romantic comedies that England's tired old
film industry pumps out year after year.
Big up to TROMA for being a constant inspiration for us low budget film
makers all over the world.
I will send you a copy of CREEP KILLERS on DVD as soon I get hold of
one (Elian has the one and only copy at the moment). Again thanks for
appearing in the film, I hope one day I can return the favor.
Cheers
Adam |
| Dearest Vincent Sherman, This is a fan letter.I'm a longtime movie-goer who has always felt that the movies of the
thirties and forties were the best, and I still still believe they are.
About five or six years ago, I found a copy of Studio Affairs ont he
shelf of the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts, near where
I live. I had never heard of it before and I was surprised at that becaue
I am usually aware of new theatrical and film books. In any case, I
read your book and found it superb. I kept quoting sections to people.
It seemed to me to have an almost unique ability to transmit what it
surely was like to ahve worked in a large studio. And giving it the
very nice balance between the personal and the professional, as you
did, made it one of the best autobio/memoirs in the field, of which
I read plenty. I said to myself "I really want to contact this
author," and kept meaning to do it. But instead of that, I simply
spread the word about the book among my friends, and let that thought
die. Actually, (I must tell the truth), I began to think that if you
were still with us you probably would be in total retirement and I should
leave you alone. So, I'm delighted to have seen the review of the DVD of Underground
in the Times, and I just hope that it means that many of your films
will become available. I hadn't seen Underground
before this and I enjoyed it very much. Previously, I had seen about
a half dozen of your films at Warner's on their first release, but when
I was flipping through your book and realized that you were the director
of The Hard Way, I did indeed flip out. That was one of the absolute
top favorites of mine of films of the forties. I haven't seen it recently,
but I could well understand the enthusiasm of the audience at the Telluride
Festival. That film made such an impression. I remember scenes, but
also the mood of it. I've always thought it aas a masterpiece.I certainly want to congratulate you on your continuing career, and
on the continuing interest in your work. It is certainly deserved, I
hope you enjoy it in good health.Thanks for the films and thanks for the book. |
| Dear Mr. Kaufman: Your offer of sperm donation to father my children is appreciated,
but unneeded. I have recently acquired the frozen sperm of the cinematic
visionary, Samuel Fuller. I am sorry that I will be unable to return
your sperm filled condom as it violates multiple postal regulations.However, I have sent you two photographs of you and I together. One
of them I autographed to you, as when I become a legend, you will want
to hang it on your wall. At least your survivors will. The other photo
I would appreciate you autographing and returning it to me. I have included
a self addressed, stamped envelope for this purpose.Sincerely,Oliver Stone, AKA flop movie maker, AKA Jim Cox |
| high! this message is for lloyd. i live in AL and have been a skaster/punkster since i was knee high
to a grasshopper! i love troma and it keeps me laughing my ass off.
i just want you to know that i live so far away but am a huge fan. i
am not from AL but am a military brat and have been to a lot of places
around the world. just want to say keep up the good work!!!!! gail |
Dearest Lloyd , this is Max from Moscow writing which means that finally there's an
excuse for this message to go out meaning that the 2nd TROMA festival
both in Moscow & St.Petersburg is over...Yeah, i did go there i watched almost everything luckily including
TALES FROM THE CRAPPER !!!Now must i say why ... Most importantly - never will i forget the making
of KORABL's "Wildman" video and especially in the vein of
both of your books that i read so should i say that the slate had clacked
right on though we never used one which means one thing - thanx for
the gargantuan experience ( i shit you not )of the whole process , again
from the bottom of my heart ( the heart of my bottom ? ) thanx , thanx
, thanx ! Truly a hilarious chef-d'oeuvre !!!And as related i wanted to ask one question , please - amidst the TALES
FROM THE CRAPPER tunes there was one with accordion and thick heavy
english accent - who was the artist/group performing that very , we
so much liked it... Damn , this should be a meaningful message not only "schmaltz
& kvetch" from a dedicated cult follower so here is what i
can propose - underneath of what KARMEN Co. does now there also were
some that did TROMA vhs releases here, and if you really are interested
i can definetely tell you which and what - whoops , not in any way i
claim myself to be a thorough TROMA researcher from a third world country...Lloyd, confess need i, it did not work for this message to be meaningful,
apologies...I better stop here and kick the following punchline - Thanx and greetings
to all at TROMA for the insight and dear Lloyd love you & miss you as ever,Film on & bestest,
Max |
Good day Mr. Kaufman,
I'm a meager litte cartoonish traveling on that dastardly road of independant
comic books, and my latest piece of work would require your permission
(as of yet, my work is unpublished, but I figure it's best to get ahead
of the game and get permission before I even think of trying to publish
my work etc. etc.)
The current story I'm working on is called "A B-Moving Tale"
where the main character is drugged by his animal side-kick and has
a lucid dreams about all the b-movies he enjoys watching from the days
of yore when Roger Corman and Ed Wood were king (or should I say queen
in Wood's case? Ahhh. details...) Meanwhile his animal sidekick ends
up watching big Hollywood pictures (in which he finds unsatisfying and
there is something involving a certain big movie reviewer cornholling
him... but that's just some padding.)
Anyway, let me get to the point here because I am babbling, at the climax
of the story (which unfortunately does not feature any big titted women..
But this could be remedied.) the main character comes face to face with
"The Chosen One" which would be Lloyd who finds himself in
the same predicament as the main character.. But instead of helping
him tells him to fuck off (and possibly buy lots of Troma movies and
plug the website of course.)
May I have the honor of using your likeness in the story Mr. Kauffman?
That would be great! It'd save me the effort of changing all the drawings
to someone else... And the only thing my unskilled hands are capable
of drawing right now is Francis Ford Coppola in a bikini, and although
I really don't want to do it, I suppose sacrifices must be made.
Anyway... That is my request.
Thanks for hearing me out!
Loyal Troma Fan
- Nick Peron |
| hi, my name is florian im 18 yrs old and i live in the netherlands. when
i was little i played with your action figures; bonehead, radiationranger
and dr. killmoff. I have seen the toxic avenger movie 18 times now and
i still think its the best movie ever made !!! "Muhaha now you know why they call me.... Cigarface !!"gr.florian |
Dear Mr. Kaufman, It's about 4 in the morning down in fucking God awful Boca Raton, FL.
I'm reading your book
Make your Own Damn Movie for the second time, plus I ordered your first
book from the
Troma Maul today. I think now I'm ready to go out tomorrow, or I guess
later today and go buy a camera. I would gladly take your side and shoot
with video, but I don’t know where the fuck to get one. Digital
cameras are everywhere. They're selling them at fucking Publix now.
They just hang write over the registers trying to hypnotize all angry
old people and snotty, plastic surgically enhanced soccer moms who all
drive hummers. I know that because I used to work at Wendy's. For a
year and a half I took shit from rejects from every walk of life who
come down to Boca for no real reason other then driving me deeper into
hell. All the time at Wendy's left me a broken man with no friends,
no job, and no education. But, those factors have definitely given me
ideas for movies motivated out of total anger. Then a month ago I here
about your fast food movie and nut myself. Troma taking on fast food
has to be good. And the zombie chickens are only going to increase the
pleasure. I’ve sent emails to Rob about interning and I haven't
heard anything. I know I live in Florida and you'd rather have people
in New York. But I guaren fucking tee that I could help you guys in
any way. Troma films have helped keep me semi sane, and really will
do anything you ask. I would've gone down to the basement and killed
those rats and then throw the bodies at anyone you wanted me to. I have
more then enough money to get a ticket to New York, and I'd leave today
you wanted. I really got nothing here. Ill even clean your toilets.
I cleaned them at Wendy's. Every fucking night right before we closed,
some 200 pound asshole would come in and turn our bathroom into Hiroshima
and id be stuck like some goddamn peace corps worker looking around
at the brutality of that guys ass. So I’ve been through some tough
shit, literally, and I'm more then willing climb back in if it's for
a Troma movie. Since you don't have to pay me there's no reason not.
I guarantee you wont regret it.
Thank You, Jon |
To the Honorable and Syphillitic Lloyd Kaufman. Mr. Kaufman I recently decided to read your second book, "Make
Your Own Damn Movie." I must say that I take great offense to the
terminology you used in said book. Page 103, "...a well-adjusted
individual..." To suggest that I am well-adjusted has greatly disturbed
me. I am no longer able to pursue my stringent schedule of maturbating
and eating cheetos. Furthermore, because of this intense emotional trauma
I have been unable to work efficiently in my attempts to find suitable
investors for my own damn film projects. Due to this unwarranted slander
I have lost much needed time and energy and therefore require compensation
to the sum of $20,000 so that I may go forward with the aforementioned
projects! If not a button or some stickers will do. Something, anything
man!The Retarded Hyperborean, Joe Brower
ps. Seriously though, I found your book to be of unparalleled help.
oh, and gimme some free shit! (no actual fecal matter please, sending
it through the mail is illegal.) |
hey lloyd, sorry for the out right rudness but I feel as though I can call you
Lloyd after reading your book. I enjoyed it very very much. it was just
what i was looking for. I have read many books on D.I.Y. film making
like "101 things they dont teach you in film school" and other
worthless who-ha but, your
book by far is the best I have read. I have been a fan of the B-horror
movies for a whille now and a big toxie fan at that too. I feel like
your book really puts great just to the filmmakers out there like my
self that arn't into the main stream movies. the "cookie-cutter"
movies as you put it. its all garbage (allthough there are some acceptions).
now before this letter gets too indepth on how much I look up to you
and B.S. like that I just wana cut to the chase, I heard you know some
secret password to a swiss bank account. hah sorry, figured I lighten
it up a bit, but if you do I wouldnt mind knowing it. over all Mr. Kaufman
i would just like to thank you on behalf of the "underdogs"
out here that feel indpendant films are the REAL blockbusters. Ever
since that fatefull day me and a pal of mine sitting around the dish
washer at some crappy Italian resturant talking about low budget films
and how they (we feel) are better than big picture films, I never would
have though I would later read a book on how we feel. thank you Mr.
Kaufman for your contribution, you can sleep on my sofa any time you
want. --Steve Walsh |
Dear Lloyd, I was preparing a lecture on Stan Brakhage and in doing some web research
discovered your interesting essay and
how his work and fierce independence influenced you. I had forgot he
was in Cannibal. As always there is more below the surface of Troma
than some would believe. Nice essay and some appropriate words with
which to remember Stan, his influences on many filmmakers, and his work.
Hope you can come to see us again in the Radio, TV, and Film Dept at
the University of North Texas still have a few students here that remember
your last visit, and run into many alum who were here when we filled
the Lyceum for Terror Firmer.
Fred Watkins |
| Hi, I am a 25 years old French filmmaker who direct some improvised movies
by video, without any budget or preproduction (Me and my friends are
directing our movies with our instinct, in automatic writing, and in
a total improvisation state of mind). I am editing them all by myself
(entire post production too, including special effects and sound editing).
But my objective is to direct some important movies, in United States,
because in France, I can't make the movies I want to do, and for my
beginning, I want to direct B movies exclusively. I am dreaming of monsters,
aliens, young women screaming, and fast directing (I am making my movies
in 3-4 hours and editing them in 1-2 days with my computer). But my
projects for the future are more serious. I would like to show my short movies to Lloyd Kauffman personnaly,
because it is a dream for me to learn by directing B movies for Troma. If it is possible for you to send this email to him, with the following
link to my shorts, it would be fantastic. Here is the
link to my shorts:Thank you !Daniel Lederman |
 Hey Lloyd, You asked us to send this pic to the website and so shall it be!Im a recent cum laude BFA sculpture grad and i've been doing FX makeup
for about 10 years. I was going over the website and noticed you were
on the lookout for people willing to do FX and live in a cardboard box
in your basement. Looks like I'll have to get a reel together!Enjoy the pic and if I can swing it, we'll get you down here to ETSU
in Johnson city to teach your masters course.Chad Fraley
"Heres to long life and Bad films" |
| Hi Lloyd, Just wanted to say it was a pleasure meeting you at Dragon
Con this year-thank you for the doggie movie for Nikki-we haven't gotten
it from Devi yet but we should be picking it up this weekend-I am sure
Devi told you we came by your booth but you were already gone-hopefully
we will catch up with you again somewhere. Devi, I and Nikki are going
to try and make a couple other upcoming festivals----Hope things are
going well and I hope you are surviving the weather in Florida---If
you ever hear of any roles suitable for Nikki be sure and give us a
call--I didn't realize you did Zombiegeddon with Linnea-Joe-Robert--what
a small world ---Nikki was in Unaware with them as well--Well thats
all for now--keep in touch--I think my cell is on Nikkis headshot and
resume that I gave you-otherwise Devi could always put you in contact
with us if need be--thanks again and hope to see you soon. Take Care
Tracey |
| Dear Troma,I am writing to thank Mr. Kaufman for his recent appearance in Miami
for the mini-Troma retrospective at the Miami Cinematheque. As my girlfriend
and I are recent transplants to Miami from Philadelphia it was a great
surprise to have his movies shown as the movie scene down here is more
than a little boring. Unfortunately we found out to late that the retrospective
was happening and were only able to see the showing of "Class of
Nuke 'em High" on Friday night, a favorite of ours from countless
late night viewings. Fortunately for us Mr. Kaufman was at the screening
and we got to meet him and talk a little, he was also kind enough to
give and sign for us a copy of "Class of Nuke 'em High 2".
I just wanted to let you know that it really made our weekend and we'll
keep an eye out at Chiller Theatre next month for the Troma table.Thanks again,josh |
| Dear Mr. Kaufman- Please sir, allow me the honor of introducing myself to you? My name
is Mark "George" St. George, and I am a 21 year old film student
at the University of Missouri-St. Louis. Bear with me, here, please.
I'm also working on a 16 mm. short for the St. Louis Film Festival,
and am desperately fighting to bring my art to vision. "The reason" I'm telling you all of this, is that, you are
the cause of this passion. Mr. Kaufman, you are "my" inspiration
for filmmaking. After reading both of your fine books, listening to
your audio tracks on the Troma DVDs, and taking your advice into reading
books by other great independent directors (Corman), I've choose to
dedicate my life to film. If I thanked you every minute, of every day of my life, I could not
accurately express my deepest gratitude for your help. I promise, to
always give you an honorable mention in every film I make (with your
permission); it's the very least I could do, for a great man, such as
yourself. My best go out to you, your wife, and your daughters. I've back ordered,
and eagerly await my copy of "Tales From The Crapper"; sure
to be another instant classic. Real Quick Funny Story: I ordered Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD from Sam Goody;
but for some reason, after weeks and weeks, it never came. I got so
upset that I forced them to order the f*$king DVD, every day, till it
came in; which they did! Not only did a get a great movie, but I successfully
stocked the St. Louis Jamestown Mall Sam Goody with enough Sgt Kabukiman
and Toxic Avenger DVD's to last them a year! Just to close, I thank you yet again; and I wish Troma and yourself
a productive future. Please take care of yourself Lloyd, and give my
best to Michael Herz too.-Sincerely Yours,Mark "George" St. George |
Hi my name is Ben, I live in California, born and raise in Montreal
Canada. I would like to first start by saying that me and my wife are
huge fan of your movies. I can't count the nights we spent watching
troma movies. My question is about rabbid grannies. First of all, it
was a great movie, we were cracking up, in short it was perfect but
I have notice that in the extras there is a choice called rabbid outtakes
wich gives us all the ways people died in the movie but with much more
gore. I was wandering why it never made it in the actual moviesince
it was already pretty bloody...(and a second question if I may, what
would be in your opinion the blodiest movie Troma ever did...)
Thank you in advance
True fan...AND NOW THAT ME AND MY WIFE ARE FINANCELY STABLE, WE ARE
READY TO BUY ALL OF YOUR MOVIES!!!!!!!! Ben |
hallo Llord!
Firstly, I want to say, that I'm a big fan of TROMA!!! Every movie is
perfect entertainment and it is always nice to enjoy a troma movie.
I have many movies and I hope, you'll make more movies! They are great!
My english ist not the best one because I'm from Austria, that is in
Europe.I hope you can understand me. I would have a suggest for you.
In Austria, there is a great Message Board. Your homepage is offering
such a messeage board too. Our board has got more than 780 members,
and many of them are interested in Troma movies! Unfortunately, Troma in Germany doesen't exist any more and so, we
have not enough news. So I have the idea, to ask you, Llord Kaufman,
if your are interested in being in our board. You don't habe to be there
every day, you only have to register and send me your news in an email.
I woud give your news into the message board and everybody can read
it. It would be great because you would be the first, who has an troma-
board in an austrian message board.
It wouldn't be only advertisement for Austria because we also have
members from Switzerland and Germany! So, a part of Europe would read
your information! I hope I can persuade you ;) It isn't much work and
many fans would be happy. Besides that Europe would also be interested
in Troma movies again.
If you are interested in this idea, please write back.
I hope Troma will exist many many years! Don't give up!
greetings
Steve |
Hi,
My name is Bill Holliser and I just wanted to say that I love and respect
your movies. I think it is amazing that great quality, low budget films
can thrive in an industry where Hollywood (blah) tells you what to watch
and who to like. I have been a fan of horror since I was a little kid
and I think your studio and everyone who has helped make one of your
films deserves credit in making the world and the film industry a better
place. I would love to meet Lloyd Kaufman and all of the members of
Troma. Have you considered coming to North Carolina any time soon? I
consider Troma to be one of the great influences on my tastes and writing
style. Your films are fun, hilariously gross, and filled with great
actors. I wish all of you the best of luck in the future and I hope
you continue to produce these great movies.
Bill Hollister |
 Dear Lloyd, Hey, remember me, I was Kabukiman at the Phoenix Borders show. I took
this candid picture of Lloyd and Toxie gettin' it on. I think you should
post it. |
| I heard the word TROMA on the radio a few hours ago, and I fired up
the Toxic Avenger II DVD again, I forgot how much fun it is. It's still
as good as it was the first 20 times I saw it. Then, I hopped on to
your website and happened onto Lloyd's 'roids, and did my fair share
of reading. I love your essays and your movies, and I am just sending
an e-mail to thank you for making the world a better place.Bob |
Hello,
I'm not quite sure if Lloyd Kaufman himself will get this, but hey,
I thought it was worth a shot anyway. I'm in the process of shelling
out a bunch of money to make a movie, and really found it necessary
to write to Lloyd and say thank you for his book and his movies. I know
I know, youve heard this one before. Bear with me Im almost done. So
Lloyd, your book has basically saved my ass and has been the best referance
ever, better than any books I ever picked up when I studied film in
college. So thank you, thank you, and I plan to submit my flick to Tromadance
(and no I'm not just kissing your ass so you accept my movie in the
festival).You've probably heard that before too. Keep making those movies,
and I hope one day to work with you. You're a good man.
Michelle
xoxo |
Dear Lloyd, Thank you damn much for writing "Make Your Own Damn Movie!"
and publishing it in ebook format. That and "Breaking In"
are the first two (e)books I read on film making, and possibly the only
two I'll ever need. Now that I have bought a used TiBook, a Canopus
box, and a used copy of "Art & Fear", I'm going to start
editing my own damn movies, starting with StockStock.org footage. But the question burning me up is: How the hell did you succeed in causing the demonic possession of
Stephen Sommers to create that steaming pile of werewolf pooh called
"Van Helsing"? Brilliant work that! I know somewhere buried
in the special effects credits is a Troma subsidiary that was used to
funnel a few spare million (a mere rounding error of VH's budget) into
your next productions. And causing him to release that beast onto the
unsuspecting public will only further the cause of independent filmmaking
everywhere. Good show, man!Yours in starry-eyed admiration,
J. Scott Hamilton |
 Lloyd,Hello. I have been a fan of Troma movies since I was a wee little boy.
Now, a 30 year old kid, I realize I must act on my dream to do some
sort of act of work for Tromaville!!But on a serious note, are there any projects in the future that I
could apply for whether it be for acting in a part or in the production.
Not that an education means anything in this business, but I went to
school and studied art and graduated with a degree in Visual and Performing
Arts. I have was a production assistant for a video production company
for years and then became an editor. I currently work as a multimedia
designer for my father's company working with various forms of digital
media.My true love is film. Thanks for your vision, it is very inspiring.Eric Deitrichps. attached is a pic of me trying to figure out how I really did meet
the almighty Lloyd Kaufman (i'm the guy getting your autograph in the
pic on the "Troma Mail" page.)(Lloyd responds: Thank you Eric.
Keep your eye on Troma.com for exciting production news coming soon!) |
Lloyd, I am a beginning film maker (Big Surprise) and recently I was given
a copy of your book to read. I decided to start to make film late in
life (I am in my mid 30's) and do not have the luxury of going to any
sort of film or cinema school so I have taken up being a "Gorilla
Film Maker". As such I have been forced to learn how to make films
through the vast array of books (and I use this term loosely) that are
available. Not having been a Troma fan (mainly due to lack of exposure,
I have only seen The Toxic Avenger while in high school) I was a bit
reluctant to read your book due to it's unconventional look and format
but was assured it was worth the time. So I began to read it and found
myself unable to put it down! Your book was far more valuable than any
"Film school in a book" (or I imagine any book in a film school)
that I have read to this point. It was well thought out, explained the
essentials of what someone in my position should need to know, and has
become the bible by which I am structuring my fledgling production company
by. I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to write it, it truly
is invaluable. I would like to take you up on your offer in the "Covering Your
Ass" section of the book and request a copy of a couple of the
legal forms you use. I am interested in looking over the work-for-hire,
on camera release form and location release form. I have searched the
web for these forms and the ones I have found leave some doubt in my
mind as to there validity and usefulness. I was hoping that by looking
at an established companies forms I might be able to get a better idea
of how one should be structured. I know you are an extremely busy man, but if you could find the time
to email me back this information I would be very grateful. As required by your book I hereby swear that I am not an axe wielding
homicidal maniac who is going to slaughter a bus load of "Special
People" and leave the legal Troma calling card a.k.a legal forms
in my wake! As for proof of purchase I submit: On page 181, paragraph 1, sentence
19 down from the top the first four words are "Absurd, whiny, fuck-face".
Thank You in advance,
Tim Krizan |
| dear troma iwould very much like to see and most likely purchase
sgt. kabukiman nypd and class
of nuke em' high but every where i go and i mean eaverywhere
i go they always say noespecially with class of nuke em high ive seen
the first two and fell in love.but i pre ordered it at two video stores
and each time i check up they havent got it yet and this has been going
on for two months.I WANT TO SEE SGT.
KABUKIMAN NYPD!!oh by the way lloyd your a god (a sexy god) and im loving the book all
i need to know about filmaking i learned from the toxic avenger.well
thanks for taking the time to read all this if you do.ByeMartyredRavens(Well, MR, you can always pick up Troma movies at Best Buy, Circuit
City, FYE, Tower Records, Virgin Megastore, Musicland, Hastings, Borders
and many other stores, in addition to Troma's Chopping
Maul!) |
 Lloyd,
Hello, I had met you in Cleveland. We were the two guys who videotaped
you for a quick 30 second or so interview (if you even want to call
it that). I must say I cherished the moment I had, being able to talk
to one of my heroes in person. We go into production for our sleazefest
of a movie next month. Your book has given me much inspiration. Are
you going to be in the Baltimore or Washington area anytime soon?Thanks,Eric Deitrich
Maryland
PS: Here is a pic from Cleveland. |
Hey Lloyd,
Last night, I went to the premiere of The Janitor in Los Angeles.
This movie was pretty good. I had my doubts about the movie at first,
but once I heard you made an appearance in the film, I knew it had to
be good. The turn out was really good too. You could definetely tell
that Andy is inspired by Troma and the special effects were exactly
like Troma too. There was a part where he rips a guys leg off, which
reminded me of Terror
Firmer, there was eye gouging, guts being ripped out, etc. Why
in the hell am I telling you this? I'm sure you've seen the movie by
now, right?
Anyway, just wanted to drop you a line about this. Talk to you later...
David Ostiguy
PS: When will Tales
From The Crapper be available? The trailer looks amazing!!!
|
Hey Lloyd,
I put a movie i made on the web - i'm a bit new at doing stuff like
that so i hope it worked. Anyway I thought i'd send you the link - http://homepage.mac.com/zoo_buffalo/iMovieTheater1.htmlIt's only like 2 mins long so won't take up much of your time if you
wanna check it out :) i hope i did it right! fingers crossed!
hoping to see you at cannes,emma
Lloyd responds the same day:You are a genius... I axed our web-monkeys
to link to it... so millions of Troma perverts... er... fans can share!4/7/04Wow high praise! :) thanks lloyd! i wish it was a bit better quality
but i shall get my technical head on and maybe figure out a way to make
it look nicer and update it. much love. emma.4/9/04The movie is splendidly compressed and looking much better. emma. |
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