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Fan Mail from Troma Citizens
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"Dear
Lloyd Kaufman..."
FAN MAIL TO TROMA! (2002-02/2003-01)
Want
to share your stories with Lloyd? Drop
him a line! |
1-14-03
Dear Lloyd,
My name is Brandon
Pierce. A friend of mine, Bryan Northrop organized Toxie day 2002, and
is awaiting Toxie day 2003. Recently he brought over the typical two
joints, but as I looked in his backpack I noticed something unusual.
About 16 DVD titles I hadn't heard of including "The Toxic Avenger
(1-3)" "Tromeo and Juliet" "War" and "Sgt.
Kabukiman N.Y.P.D." at first I thought this this kid is crazy,
but I later found he was just an EXTREMELY dedicated Troma fan. We stayed
up for over 36 hours watching Troma films, and working our way through
the marvelous special features. Troma warped my brain (in a good way,
not a Jimmy Jones type). He brought me into the wide world of Troma,
and is doing all he can to Tromatize the rest of our town Plainfield
IN. I want to know what I can do to help, we are currently working on
the neighborhood coffee house, please return this e-mail and tell me
how I can serve you and the citizens of Tromaville. New Troma Fan
Brandon Pierce |
1-14-03
Dear Lloyd...
my
name is Justin Brown. I am a Private First Class in the united states
army (please don't hold this aginst me I needed the money for college
my claim is Chico Sober Drunk Punks) and I'm just writing to say that
I appreciate all the wonderful movies you and Michael Herz have brought
to the world. I have been an avid Troma fan for the last fiew years
and yesterday I got toxie
tattooed on my left bicep. I hope that you and Michael continue
to bring us all the wonderfuly fucked up shit that we have all known
and loved over the years and that you can keep the spirit of independent
cinema alive and fighting. Thank you
Justin Brown
|
1-13-03
Hey Lloyd,
I just sent these words to Roger Ebert in hopes that he will print it
in his newspaper. I think if it gets printed that it will really touch
a nerve with his readers. If it is not printed then it is another display
of how the devil worshipping conglomerates will suppress any opinion
that differs from what they want to shape in order to hoard as much
money as possible. However Ebert has declared several times his distaste
for the Nc-17 rating. Enjoy...
sincerely,
Kevin Reitzel
Mister Ebert you seem to be the only movie critic or person in Hollywood
who seems to be concerned with the MPAA and their blatant censorship
of films within North America. My question is when will they remove
that silly Nc-17 rating (or as you call it the wolf in sheep's clothing)
and allow adults the freedoms and rights they deserve to view uncensored
art? How can we call ourselves a free society when our most popular
storytellers are self censoring in order to reach an audience and our
most popular art form is constantly being mutilated? An obvious example
of the MPAA being biased towards more mainstream and conventional films
is the fact that the PG-13 rated film Raising Arizona features a man
being punched in the face and spitting out a tooth while the independently
produced film Troma's
War had featured a woman being punched in a more comic manner and
spitting out an unrealistic looking tooth and the MPAA made them cut
the scene to receive an R rating after commenting to Troma "this
is a horrible film". The movies El Mariachi and Clerks were both
threatened with an NC-17 rating which would have potentially ruined
the careers of both Robert Rodriguez and Kevin Smith. I am afraid as
an independent filmmaker that my movies will be butchered and disemboweled
by Jack Valenti’s minions and remain unseen. This is less of a
question than a plea to you and your readers Roger to do everything
in your power to replace the MPAA. They no longer do their job in advising
parents towards the content of films which their children are viewing
(which most parents do on the internet now anyway) and now exist only
to suppress art. As I see it the amber glow burning up little strips
of celluloid coming from Jack Valenti’s fireplace is the same glow
that burned bright in Adolph Hitler’s Nazi book burning rallies.
|
1-13-03
Dear Lloyd,
You've managed to conceal your 'roids
pretty well on the Troma website, but I still found them. And little
pellets of wisdom, insight and...erhh...some other substance that I
can't quite identify (but the lab should have the results back in a
few days) they are too.
I will definitely quote you about how "Every single time there's
some innovation that benefits consumers, the movie studios have reacted
by pissing and moaning about how (insert new technology here) will kill
Hollywood" and how " If this were true, the Troma Team would
be doing backflips of joy."
Best wishes,
Patrick |
11-26-02
My only experience of buying serials on DVD from GB sources has, to
put it mildly, been very disappointing. Generally the source material
has been of a very poor quality, often resulting in appalling picture
and sound quality. However, today, I have received the Roan Group DVD
of "Undersea
Kingdom" and I am absolutely delighted with the effort you
have put in sourcing such a superb master for the DVD. Picture and sound
quality are stunning. On the strength of this DVD I have just placed
an order for "SOS
Coastguard"
Do you have any more serials that you will be releasing in the future?
Again many thanks for producing such quality DVDs.-David |
9-18-02
I have seen all
of "Big
Gus" by now, and you weren't too far wrong in saying that it
was the worst movie ever made. It seems that nobody in the movie had
any idea what acting was. Especially this one person who played all
the scenes in which she was supposed to be worried, scared, etc. with
a big smile on her face. Ethel, I believe was the characters name. However,
I think that it is bad enough to be funny, in the sense that Troma's
"Maniac Nurses Find Ecstacy" is funny. "Gus" is
much funnier than "Nurses".
I plan to watch the movie again today, and write a review of it for
http://www.tromamovies.com/
tonight. Be warned that my review might increase the demand for copies
of "Big
Gus"....
--- Jeff
The Encyclopedia Tromatica
The Troma Geek |
9-13-02
I read your tribute piece at
Troma.com and wanted to let you know that I'm honoring this day by not
watching any TV at all, let alone news broadcasts. This may become a
tradition for me. 'No media on 9/11'. I'm quite the news junkie so it
really is a sacrifice, however minute it may seem.
Instead I'm catching up on e-mails and listening to the soundrack you gave me, great stuff!-John |
9-13-02
Hi there....this is my first time writing, and I'm sure you don't hear
this often, but Troma oozes with *class* when compared to most everybody
else's coverage of the 9/11 anniversary. It's about damn time someone
pointed out that the mainstream media says "we must get on with
our lives" while showing the towers smashing every second, and
exposed the *real* ghouls as being people like Murdoch who wanted us
to see more blood splatter than in six Troma films (and I mean real
blood on his 9/11 "coverage" rather than the fake stuff you
guys use). As it is today I pick my paper off the lawn and what's on
Newsday's front page but replays of the burning, decapitated, half-collapsed
towers from last year.....gee, ya think they care about consoling traumatized
folks sick of seeing those pix, or ratings? I am SO glad that Troma
shows more class than any of these bloodsuckers.
I'm so glad that Troma has more guts (courage as well as yards of intestines
I mean) than the mainstream media to tell it like it is about the people
who're (which is what they're making of themselves) just pimping America's
sadness out for ratings. And I'll tell ya this, watching Toxie getting
thrown in a barrel of hazmat comforted me a hella lot more than watching
the towers crumble over and over!
Still glad to be a Troma fan,
CynthyaClick
here for Lloyd Kaufman's 911 essay |
9-13-02
Hey, Lloyd,
I'm the film student from Oklahoma State University, and
I'm in the process of negotiating, mostly with the help of Jamie (Who
is wonderful) and my film teacher. I got a screener copy of Citizen
Toxie, and well... it furthers my belief that you are a fuckin genius!
Oh, my god, such emotions overcame me... Kabukiman.. I'm even prouder
of my Kabukiman tattoo
now that you made him rock so hard in this film! I loved the whole movie,
and I especially loved the riff on the Citizen Kane news reel. It came
at a perfect time, because we're just now watching Citizen Kane in class,
and I'd never seen it before. But, the movie is genius.. the retards...
the violence... the social commentary!! Well done, Lloyd. You have made
my favorite film.
-Frank
|
9-10--02
Congratulations
on All
The Love You Cannes! What a wonderful documentary. So much of this
film exemplifies why I love troma so much. I found the movie incredibly
honest, fair and well edited. You are the wind breaking beneath my cheeks!
-Mark |
8-1-02
Dear Mr.. Lloyd Kaufman,
I attended your All Night Pajama Party Troma Fest at my local independent
movie theater, and boy howdy, it was a night to remember. See, I was
14 at that time when I attended (15 now) and was fairly new to Troma.
I saw Matt Stone and Trey Parker's "CANNIBAL:THE MUSICAL"
and was drawn to your company. I know you didn't actually make the film,
but the features on the DVD showing your other movies fascinated me.
I craved more. When I heard you were coming to my town, I knew I had
to go. I got 3 of my other friends to go and experience Troma. You were
showing the premier for "The Toxic Avenger: Citizen Toxie."
My friends and I got pretty stoned before the show, mind you. Let me
tell you- I never laughed harder in my life. I even laughed (in my stoned
stupor) at the scene when the klansmen tie the black guy to the back
of the pickup and drag him, his body parts ripping off one by one with
his head the only limb left. Everybody was like "ohhhhhhh.....that's
bad" and I was howling with laughter. Ah, good times. The rest
of the
movie was comedic genius! The Retarded Rebel had me repeating that one
line he said in the
movie-"Fuck dis shit, I'm outta heeay."
The after show party was excellent...for the time I was there. I believe
you even took some home video of my and my friends sitting down, looking
fried out of our brains. I was the kid in the dark blue hoodie and brown
shorts...I think that's what I was wearing. The Troma girls were awesome,
and we were bummed we missed the chick that put the cigarette in her
cooch. I actually found out that is one of my teachers "friends."
Unfortunately, we were soon kicked out of the party by the owner of
the theater, because of the "questionable" things that was
going on. I don't blame the guy, and he was nice enough to give us our
money back. We were walking out just as the orgasm contest started.
Darn it all.
Anyway, that's my big story. I would like to thank you for throwing
such a cool party, and I would also like to thank the Tromettes, Toxie,
Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD, The Killer Condom, and all the other Troma people
there.
VIVA LA TROMA!
|
7-31-02
Hi This is Nanami.
I volunteered for the warped tour in cincinnati today with my boyfriend
Dan. And we had a great time there. I really enjoyed everything. I just
want to thank staffs because they were very nice to us. We'd love to
volunteer Troma again anytime if they come up here. Troma is great.
It was so much fun to work with them. Thank you very much!!!!
Nanami,
a japanese tromette;) |
6-27-02
Dear Lloyd,
This is going to be very long and boring, but I just wanted to thank
you and the Troma team for showing my class that there is still hope
for independence in film.
I might have tried to educate my fellow students of Burlington College
about Troma for the past 3 1/2 years now, and have posted Tromadance
submission forms in just about every single room in the school (especially
in the bath rooms, above the toilet's) except the presidents office,
but it
took your outgoingness along with the Tromettes and Doug's raw energy
to open their eyes to a movie world not controlled by major studio conglomerates.
That, along with your kick ass documentary "All the Love you Cannes"
showed my fellow students that there can still be WORLD PEACE THROUGH
CELLULOID.
You gained fans from people who, for the most part, didn't even know
who the hell you were. It takes a lot to affect a person that quickly.
Shit, three of the student's are already asking to borrow my entire
collection of Troma movies, and two of them didn't even know what a
Troma movie was three weeks ago. So I'm going to throw a Troma movie
party at the school sometime next week.
I will continue to promote Troma all over Burlington College for as
long as I live, well, at least until they let me graduate. A lot of
Tromadance forms are gone after you tromatized my classmates, but I'll
post some more up for the next semester. I have also started to pin
up copies of the Dogpile 95 form you gave me at the Forum.
Well, you probably didn't want to read all that crap. I myself wouldrather
be cornholed by a priest while watching Disney movies created by cloned
nazi fascists from WWII than read a letter like this one, but I felt
it was kind-a important.
Thank you for your time sir,Mark
C. Covino |
6-17-02
Dear Mister Kaufman,
Because of your
films, I have decided to make a go at a career in cinema. A first-time
“director” hired me over a year ago to write a screenplay
for an idea about a Vampire Vacuum. Today, the production of this independent
film looks very unlikely. I have decided to take matters in my own hands
with the production of an independent horror film of my own I call “The
Thing That Ate Me!”
However, although my circle of friends are very talented in acting,
they are wary about accepting my offer to be in my "little T&A
film" for the amount of pay. I was encouraged to write this letter
because my girlfriend had surprisingly managed to secure an autographed
picture of you through the aid of your webmaster. Perhaps, if your studio
was as cold-hearted as the Hollywood system, you would receive less
letters like the one before you now. I do not expect your reply to be
“yes” and I would fully understand why. I am also of the mind:
“It couldn’t hurt to try.” I am not asking for money
nor am I asking you or your studio to buy a script. I was wondering
if you or any other Troma employee would be comfortable reading a screenplay
and offering nothing more than a review or advice. I do realize that
this could be an incredible waste of your time. However, having experience
in web marketing, I believe this picture to have a certain commercial
value with the prospect of several sequels to follow. The reason I tell
you this is because I have planned from the beginning to have Troma,
as a possible distributor, see this film first. If you were to offer
a review, my possible cast members who think highly of you would certainly
be more interested if you thought well of the project and therefor,
my project would stand that much more of a chance of seeing the light
of day. In fact, the only thing I lack is my cast. If you should happen
to be interested, I am sure there are certain legal precautions you
must take to protect yourself and your studio. This is why I have neglected
to include a synopsis. I am willing to do whatever it would take to
get Lloyd Kaufman to read my script, but like I said, that all depends
on your interest. If you think you might be interested, please reply
and if you are not I would hate to waste even more of your time on a
rejection letter. Thank you for your valuable time. Sincerely,
Grant
Avery |
6-17-02
Dear Mr. Kaufman:
I am fan of
your films and everything else about your industry. I had a
few questions that were on my mind.1. Could I have
permission to make a book on the history of Troma studios
and its films (Please give me permission!!!)2. This is something
that I have been wanting to do for years. Can I make a
Homemade Toxic Avengers type movie and maybe promote it on Troma.com?
I
would definately promote Troma Studios and I will support Troma all
the way.A huge
fan and supporter all the way,
Casey BocockLloyd's reply:
No problem...You should send a letter to www.dogpile95.com
telling us what you are planning. We will publish the letter there.
Good luck...also you can enter Tromadance Film Festival see www.tromadance.com. |
6-13-02
Lloyd--
Thanks for printing the essay on transgender issues. Many folks still confuse "drag queens"
with transsexuals--it's simply ignorance. And unfortunately, prejudice
and ignorance often lead to violence.
--Connie Champagne
(vocalist, on Walk This Way, Vegas
In Space) |
6-11-02
Hey Lloyd,
I don’t
know if you remember me but I was Sgt. Kabukiman at the AMG meeting
in Ann Arbor Michigan, my name is Will Zuidema. Well enough of that,
I just got finished with a short movie I made for school. It’s
about people getting hunted it has a ton of tromatic violence and green
puke. It was very loosely based on a short story. I showed it at school
and had some teachers play it for other classes; we even had screenings
at lunch. It seems like everyone has seen it and I’ve been getting
a lot of complements on it. People even want me to make music videos
for their bands. I just thought you might want to see this movie and
a couple of my other ones. If you want to see this, could you give me
an address to send a tape to? Also we are gonna start work on my feature
length film Possessed by an Angel. We are going to have a women’s
Mud Wrestling competition to raise money for it. I am going to follow
the Dogpile 95 doctrine for the movie since we have no budget. We have
been hyping it up at school and hopefully we will actually make the
movie. THANKS! for your support and good luck at Cannes. From,
Will Zuidema (I will never give up the fight for truly independent cinema!) |
6-3-02
Dear Mr. Kaufman!
I just heard about a new film by Woody Allen, "HOLLYWOOD ENDING"
which is about a filmdirector at the end of his carreer-gone-bad, who
gets JUST one more chance to prove himself and who, on the day he has
to start filming.......TURNS BLIND!!!!!
A film about a blind director who has a hard time to be taken seriously.
I wonder where he got this idea?????????????
You might already be aware of this, but I thought I'd send on this news
to you anyways.
Is there any way Troma can sue Woody??
I mean - with a chance of winning.
BY THE WAY
In a popular dutch magazine about horror/fantasy/sf/cult films two dutch
released Troma movies (Rabid Grannies and the brilliant Mother's day)
got an unfairly bad review (not even based on the quality of the films,
but more negative in the " it is from Troma and therefore can't
be taken seriously" kind of way). I immediately replied with a
very lengthy letter, complaining about the unfair way the discs were
reviewed, and setting straight some prejudice the writer had about Troma.
Much to my surprise my letter was printed in it's entirety in the next
issue. Best wishes!!
Ton Olsthoorn
THE NETHERLANDS Lloyd's response:
Dear Ton: Thanks for fighting for independent Cinema!!! The Troma DVDs
are great...at least the ones we make..Woody Allen would not be first
major artist to be inspired by Troma, but I believe that the the similarities
are coincidence!!! Congrats on having your letter printed in the offending
magazine... |
5-16-02
Hello,
My name is Jarrod
Cooley and I'm a college student in Texas. I absolutely
love watching everything that comes out of Troma from original productions
like Toxic Avenger (the all time greatest screen hero) to distributed
pictures such as Cannibal the Musical (on which you did an incredible
DVD) to completely out there adaptations like Tromeo and Juliette (something
some of my friends will never forgive me for making them watch). Thought
I realize Troma isn't for everyone, I know that it is for me. Your approach
to creating independent features the way you want to do it is very inspiring.
I'm actually hoping to become a film director/screenwriter myself. I
don't want to get into the Hollywood system, it just doesn't seem like
it would be as much fun in the long term having to tell there version
of my story. I realize the independent market is tough, but I'm currently
working on a screenplay, and I am getting ready to approach investors. I tell you this
because I want you to know what an inspiration you've been to me. If
I did not know that people with passion for the business could really
make it work, I don't know if I could be brave enough to try. Keep making
those oh so enjoyable films and who knows, maybe someday I'll get to
work for you. I love the movies and I don't want all the Hollywood bullshit.Sincerely, Jarrod Cooley |
5-16-02
As a somewhat new Troma fan (first saw Tromeo 2 years ago) and vegetarian, I'd like to propose a veggenation of Troma, or at least a nod to the meat-free lifestyle. I see vegetarianism as the next step in social evolution, and Troma makes the 'movies of the future.' I can see that
you are concerned with the environment, you put the Radiation March on the DVD's, and that's great. Now I don't want to get "pretentious"
with you, but after turning veggie for health, I have come to learn the atrocities of the meat industry, namely the pollution it causes. I even read an article in a popular men's magazine (my roommate's) about how pig feces has ressurected a terrible microbe (physteria [sic]) in a New England lake, and it causes memory loss and all kinds of crazy shit. But I don't want to bore you with the facts of how pollution is caused by raising livestock, a perusal of PETA.com can give you a good idea (many people knock PETA as extermists, but as an informed practical person myself, I've come to realize that what they do is beneficial, and they have Lettuce Ladies - their version of Tromettes). Just like the Media Conglomerate that shoves hollywood bullshit and trite music down our throats, the meat and dairy industry has shoved meat, eggs, and dairy
down our throats, resulting in an obese, ill-health, osteoporotic society (how propagandist is "Got Milk" and "the Power of Cheese?").
Did you know that vege*s have less cancer and heart disease then meat-eaters? To me, the health benefits are obvious, but the environmental benefits
are even more persuasive. Please take some time to learn about how terrible meat (and dairy) is for society. Next movie you make, maybe you could
use some Textured Vegetable Protein in your melon head explosion instead of beef.
I'd think your
company would be able to sympathize with vegetarians/vegans, as we are a much-maligned segement of society -
like gays and the underground music scene (esp. death metal). Just because we feel our diets are healthier and better for the environment/society/animals, we are made fun of in restaurant commercials and in general, and until only recently were pretty much disregarded
as a part of the eating public. Please be a true leader, and learn how vege*ism can help the world and yourself. Brian Lydic |
5-14-02
DEAR LLOYD KAUFMAN,
I
HOPE THAT THE RECIEPT OF THIS EMAIL FINDS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY IN GOOD
HEALTH! I AM 18 YEARS OLD AND I LIVE IN SOUTH AFRICA. YOU GIVE YOUR
PERFORMANCES SUCH GREAT WARMTH AND HONESTY- ITS A PLEASURE TO WATCH!
ACTOR, PRODUCER, CREATER, FILMAKER, WRITER- YOU DO IT ALL! I KNOW THAT
WHEN YOU NAME IS SOMEWHERE IN THE CREDITS , I'M ALWAYS GUARANTEED ITS
QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT. I APPRECIATE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND ACHIEVEMENTS-
YOU ARE A WONDERFUL ROLEMODEL FOR YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD! PLEASE KEEP UP THE FANTASTIC WORK!
A BIG FAN,
CLAYTON MORAR
SOUTH AFRICA |
5-14-02
Guys, I
just wanted to say good luck in Cannes. I hope the screenings go well
and that you all have a fucking ball tearing up the Riviera !!I
was planning on coming over this year with some colleagues and to
support you guys, but I can't make it now. Bummer.Have
a good time, sign me up for the PARTIE TROMATIQUE FRANCAIS, and
give art back to the people.......RegardsDAVID
ALLCOCK
Mob Films |
5-7-02
hey lloyd,
hows it goin in tromaville, i just recently got the Toxie
3 dvd, its bad
ass, another fine dvd put out by troma, my collection is at 89 troma
movies
now, and still growing, im fuckin happy about the posters being put
back up
on the troma maul, im ording some in a few days, just thought i would
give
you some good feedback on the dvd.
keep up the good cinema
long live troma!!!!!!!!!
sincerely,
badhabitspud@aol.com |
5-7-02
Dear Lloyd,
Here is Christophe
from TromaFanCity !
Till
today, I'm not going to Cannes I'm afraid...
So,
I wanted to wish you :ALL THE LOVE
I CANNES !!Christophe |
4-30-02
PEACE & LOVE FOR YOU and MOBY in last videoclip!!! Beautiful !!Giovanni Spada
Festival del cinema trash di Torino (Italy - Europe) |
4-30-02
Troma makes the best damned movies on the face of the earth. I've watched
your movies since I was 10 years old. I'm now 23 and still loyal support
everything Troma has released. I personally think you that you are a living
god. I can't wait to see Citizen Toxie and all of the future projects
that
you release. I hope to get the chance to meet you at the next Tromadance.
That would be a great honor.
Keep up the great work. Chad |
4-30-02
Lloyd,
Your Troma movies, pot, munchies and death metal is what makes my world
go around. thanks brother. -Joe Rush |
|
4-29-02
Lloyd (may I call you Lloyd?)
Recently I purchased the special director's cut DVD of TERROR FIRMER from your website. It was my best purchase ... EVER!!!
I have spent the past 3 days watching the entire DVD. The actual film, with all three commentaries. Also, the making of TERROR FIRMER and all the other behind scenes stuff. What an absoulute gem of film making ... a masterpiece!!!
I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed the movie! Please let everyone at TROMA know their work is not going unnoticed.
I only wish I lived in New York so I could be a part of your great team!!!
If you ever make it to the Chicago area let's do lunch!
Signed,
A wonderfully satisfied TROMA customer ... keep making that art!!!
Chris
|
4-23-02
Lloyd:
Just
a quick note about the importance of Troma movies. . . .been watching
the news lately, and from the Troma's War-esque scenes of violence (Israel,
Afghanistan, etc. where the little people are being crushed by the man)
or pedophilic priests (Boston) a 'la Tromeo and Juliet. . .the social
significance of Troma movies never ceases to astound me. I think far
too many people (Troma fans included) miss out on Troma movies' insight
into important issues. I
guess I just wanted you to know that Troma's most exellent satire is
not lost by me, and is part of the reason that I treasure Troma movies
so dearly -- something i know you hear alot. . .that every movie you've
made fucking rules, and each one gets better and better -- Terror Firmer
struck gold with its attack on Hollywood. .and an astounding number
of "hot-button" topics are packed into less than 2 hours in
Citizen Toxie!Peace,
and much toxic love,William |
4-23-02
To Mr. Kaufman -
Well, what can I say? I've been watching Troma films since I was a kid
and nowadays I find myself reliving those moments as I begin to add
more and more Troma films to my DVD collection. A favorite of mine was
always "The Toxic Avenger" (of course!) and I'm eagerly awaiting
the release of the third installment on DVD so I can place it next to
the other two I already own. Can't wait for the fourth installment either!
I just wished to drop a line here and say thanks for all the entertainment
over the years. I know Troma has been criticized left and right through
the years for the things they wish to produce, but I can safely bet
that these naysayers have no sense of humor whatsoever. They're probably
the people that cut out that little "Love is..." comic out
of the paper and put it on the fridge. You know, it's the little comic
about two naked people (not in the good Troma way) who do semi-cute
things for each other. It usually sits in the upper right hand corner
of the paper just waiting to suck.We all know that the world needs
less of that! Give me a Troma comic strip any day of the week! In fact,
I'd like to see what you guys would do with that. Yeah, a little parody
would be nice. Anyways, naturally, I can't go without requesting an
autograph. I figure that there's no really good way to ask for one without
sounding idiotic, but here's my best efforts: "Mr. Kaufman, if
you get a spare minute, could you please sign an autograph for me? I
would greatly appreciate it and you would have my endless thanks as
well as a generous portion of my income buying anything with a Troma
logo on it." How's that? Eh, maybe it'll work for ya! If you could
send an autograph, that'd be great. Well, I'm afraid I must be taking
my leave for the moment as I don't wish to take up too much of your
time. So, until a later time, I wish you continued success and, again,
my sincerest thanks for years of good, old-fashioned laughs and sights
in good and bad taste! Thanks, Lloyd!
Eagerly Awaiting More Toxie,
James Brasch |
4-22-02
Lloyd...
I think that Troma may perhaps be winning some of the respect it deserves.
I see it all over. I mean, Jesus Pleasus, you worked with Moby! That
kicks ass. I'm glad to see Toxie getting some attention. I'm planning
on getting a tattoo of Toxie soon to show my dedication to independent
thought. It's very late and I'm rambling. I don't care, though. I'm
so happy with Troma I could fuck a grapefruit. I am looking forward
to your next book. I've read All I Need to Know... about 100 times (literally!).
I am going to battle for free speech all my life. I'm going to make
violent films that actually have more meaning than The Scorpion King
with that no-talent actor The Rock. Fuck him. Fuck the director of that
movie. Lloyd, you are truly a pioneer, with big-titted women, penis
monsters, and Ron Jeremy. Never give up the fight. Oh, and be sure to
keep this letter in mind when ya choose letters for the book, wink wink.
Thanks for being a hero to all the teens in Mustang, Oklahoma
-Frank Curtis
|
4-15-02
Hey Lloyd,
first of all I want to let you know I finally saw Buttcrack. You had
told me about it at the Toronto premiere of Citizen Toxie. I did enjoy
the film, but I felt it's ending fell short. Altogether though I felt
it was quite enjoyable. I also just finished watching Redneck Zombies
(another film which takes place close to my home in Virginia). I had
already seen it, but it was much better on DVD.
Anyway, I just opened a personal page on blogger.com called www.leperskin.blogspot.com
I'm just starting it and my goal is catharsis, mockery of my friends,
weird stuff, things I want the world to know (if anyone ever looks).
Pretty much anything that I feel like. Freedom of Speech and all, I
would like to see what limittions I can push. Check it out in a few
months from now. I am linking it to another page on Blogger.com....the
page is called www.starwarssucks.blogspot.com.
It is not quite available yet. I am not looking for a plug. What I really
wanted was to see if you know where I could find that essay you wrote
about AI and Steven Spielberg. I would love to post it to my page and
let the ideally MILLIONS (most likely 5) people who visit it read it!
Rock on Lloyd-- Rock on Troma!
David |
4-11-02 I
FED MY FACE TO MY DOG!thank you troma!!!!!
XXX |
4-10-02
Dear Lloyd Kaufman,
I am sure you
get tons of fan mail for being one of the best role models for young
people today. Currently, I am attending Michigan State University and
working towards my teaching degree in History and Theater. Hopefully,
I will be as positive an image for students to look up to as you have
been.I admire your
work and all you have done. Would it be possible for you to send me
your autographed picture at your earliest convenience? I think it would
be great to show students that their role models are approachable and
real people too. You have no idea how much it would be appreciated.Thank you very
much for taking time out of your busy schedule to read and respond to
my letter.Respectfully,Brandon Barefield |
4-10-02
|
|
From Mark
Griffin |
|
4-10-02
Hi Mr. Kaufman!
It's Jose, from Barcelona (I was the boy who became your spanish translator
at Barcelona's Tromafest 2001 this November, remember?).
I've seen your request for ideas to improve troma's website, and wanted
to tell you what I think about it. I think you could try to upload more
troma music at troma.com, there are a lot of troma movies with excelent
soundtracks, like Terror Firmer, Tromeu & Juliet, Cannibal! The Musical,
and a big etc. I know you have released some troma movies soundtracks
and you are not gonna put the full score at the website, but could put
the best songs of this movies or samples, instead.
Apart from the music score at troma.com, I think that the website is wonderfull,
quite messed, but really tromatic. And the troma store has everything
a troma fan would want, everything but posters, it'd be great to buy posters
of all your movies at the troma maul, you just have available 25 mini
posters of some films, but full size, just have the citizen toxie one.
Others things I wanted to ask you, not related with the site is, if now,
with the sudden rebirth of Vamps & Zombs movies in the Hollywood market
with movies like Blade II (directed by the great Gulliermo del Toro, and
with a cameo of the "big" Santiago Segura), Resident Evil (directed
by the shitt... well... no comments) (not after reading the great George
A Romero Script rejected by the mothafuckars of Capcom), Queen of the
damned, etc,; you are going to produce or release any zomby or vampire
movie, really gore and tromatic. I was told, you were preproducing sommething
about zombies, and that it could be made in Spain (something I really
support, cannot imagine how many extras would be glad to appear in a troma
movie in Spain), is that definetely so?
Last thing I wanted to do is thank you for the new cinema vision you opened
me the first time I watched a Troma movie, which was Monster of the closet.
It showed me that there are good quality movies out of the mainstream
productions, there are things to do out there, even if you don't have
big budget, even if you don't have lots of money to waste in locations,
special effects, music score, photography, edition, etc. all you need
is a good idea, a good and straight team, and a lot of work. Thank you
for being so toxic.
Hope we meet again, greetings from Barcelona!!!
Jose Luis Romeu Miguel (el_clown)
|
3-26-02
Dear Lloyd,
My name is Georgia
and I am 9 years old. I am at an all girls Boarding
School in Letchworth, England. The evenings can be quite boring and
my
friends and myself have decided to start collecting autographs that
can be
displayed in our Common Room, to make it look special. We all think
you are
a great and clever man.I am hoping that
you will be able to help us by sending me an autographed
photo, that can be put in our common room. If you can, please could
you send
one to me at my school?I hope that you
can help me,
Lots of loveGeorgia |
3-26-02
Dear Lloyd:
I'm done reading the book. Its brilliant!!!!! Once I got started reading
I couldn't put it down from home to work the book went everywhere with
me. All I have to say its one of the best books I've read in a good while.
I cant wait to read the next book. David Bosley
|
3-26-02
Lloyd Kaufman,
I worship you
like a god, we have a throne built in your effigy at my house and every
Tuesday night a woman loses her virginity infront of it. Sometimes it
involves a bassethound! All we need to complete the throne of evil in
your name is an autographed photo! Please please please send me one
so I can be the sickest evil bastard in my town.
Thank you for your timeANDY SIMPSON
|
3-25-02
Dear Lloyd:
Thanks so much for coming to Tacoma (Washington) to talk with us and
show us Toxic Avenger IV. We enjoyed ourselves very much. The film was
great,however I think the Pope knows God pretty well, but we were all
in agreementabout the funny hat part.It was a great evening, and we
hope that you'll come again soon. Can't wait to see your next movie!
Love,
Holly & Peri & Sarah & Ron
PS: Hi Doug! We were disappointed that you didn't come, too. |
3-19-02
Hello Mr. Kaufman,
I have recently
become a huge Troma fan. I saw
Terror Firmer one night real late on television, and I
was so impressed that someone had the audacity to make
movies like that. It was fantastic. I was home from
school on Winter break and I actually woke my parents up
I was laughing so hard.
Since then, I have seen many more of your great
movies. I have bought a bunch and I'm on a mission to
get the whole collection. Those movies seem to tap
into a part of human nature that is in all of us, but
few are willing to accept. I think it is wonderful
that you are able to show such appalling things in a
film, and still have it come off as hilarious and
inspired.
Thanks for making such unique and great movies!
A new fan,
Jason |
3-18-02
Lloyd,
I'd have to say that everyone's favorite part about Troma ..is the meaningless
death scenes, and pointless nudity in your films ..it would be nice
to see some clips on the site (like the quiz on the cannibal holocaust
dvd) ..I think it's about due time for a Terror Firmer 2. Good luck with the runny ass.
-Aaron J. Conti
|
3-14-02
Dear Lloyd,
I have been a
fan of yours and your movies for a while now. I think you are a great
producer and more credit should be given to you and your work.
To list every movie that I thought you were great in would take too
long but my favourites are The Toxic Avenger Movies and the Class of
Nuke 'Em High movies
Have you got any other projects lined up? that will be out this year?
I would very much appreciate it if you could send me an autographed
photo, I do not mind sending SASE for your convenience, if you could
inform me where to send it.
I hope to hear from you soon, and deeply appreciate your generosity
in fulfilling this request.
Sincerely,
Chris Latimer |
| 3-14-02
Mr Kaufman,
I have enjoyed
your movies for several years.
I have recently started to look for some of your 'older' movies. I was
pleased to find that you have been making such entertaining movies for
years. I used to think that most producers have a short film life, but
you have proven me wrong.
Your movies get better as the sequels increment, and one never tires
of
the classics like "Blondes Have more Guns". I have to admit
living close
to Montana had me make a rewind to see if I had the character name
right, Montana Beaver-Shotz??? And of course Dakota Beaver too. I am
sorry if I missed these wonderful actors in other movies.
I also liked the Nuke 'em High series of films. Guess my high school
years were very uneventful in comparison.As you can tell
I am a fan.
I was wondering if you could send me an autographed photo, if you have
any to send fans like myself?
Any reply is appreciated and treasured.
Thanks for the entertaining memories.Kevan Hill
|
3-13-02
Hey there Lloyd,
I just finished
your book and thought it was GREAT! Super Funny, I nearly pissed my pants reading some of your footnotes!So anyway, I've
moved on to the biography of D.W. Griffith and found a quote
of his that you might find interesting:"Today the
movies are accused of corrupting the morals of youth and
contributing to the 'degeneracy of modern adolescence.' This is all
so much
bologna. The sex morals of some of these country youths of my day were
lower then a snake's belly. They had never read obscene books, certainly
had never seen a motion picture, yet their conversations and actions
were
unprintable."D.W. Griffith
c. 1930's fm: "The Hollywood Gold Rush" p.37C.A. Kemami |
3-11-02
Hi,
my name is Jason, I was the winner of the Citizen Toxie screener at the Virgin Megastore
on February 23rd. You gave me your card, and asked that I e-mail you
to tell you what I thought of the film, so yeah..I'm kinda doing that
now.
Flat out, I LOVED the movie. I have been a HUGE fan of the Toxic Avenger
since I first saw it's edited for TV version late one night on the old
USA show: "Up All Night."
After I rented it for the first time, I soon rented the second installment,
and the third, both of which I thought were good, but both couldn't
really compete with or top the original (which I was happy, and laughing
hysterically, with the "apology" for the two sequals at the
beginning of Citizen Toxie). But with Citizen Toxie, not only is this
a film that could compete with the original, I'd say that it could possibly
beat the original, but...I dunno that just seems kinda blasphemous.
I could honestly go on for a REALLY REALLY long e mail...but I don't
want to make you suffer through that . If you want to know more about
what I thought of the film..I'd be happy to send you a MUCH longer e-mail.
*oh, by the way, Kabukiman's performance in the film...fucking fantastic!*
I do have one question though. I saw in the credits that Troma has moved
into the digital age of editing, I was wondering what program or programs
Troma uses to cut their films?
Anywho, thank you for your time, and thank you again for the screener!
I will treasure it always, or at least until the DVD comes out.
Thank you,
Jason Harmeyer |
3-5-02
Dear
Lloyd,
I've just got
hold of TERROR FIRMER on import and I wanted to say that it's
one of the best DVD's I have ever seen in my entire life. It absolutely
pisses all over any other major DVD release on the market. The wealth
of
material on there is astonishing and it is a great example of DVD
technology being used to it's full potential. Farts of darkness is also
the
most entertaining and frightening behind-the-scenes documentary ever
made.
Fuck film school - watch Farts of darkness and read 'Everything I learned
about film-making.......' Pure genius Lloyd.Right I'm going
to stop kissing your ass now.I work at a small
production company here in London making commercials,
features and music videos and have been a life-long fan of Troma. Firstly
I
would love to see some of your movies on the big screen rather than
the
shitty VHS tapes I already have (trying to get them all on DVD now).
And I
think there are many Londoners out there who need a massive dose of
Troma
entertainment to liven up their miserable little lives. There's a cinema
near me called The Prince Charles in Leicester Square. They host a lot
of
horror and fantasy movie festivals and would be perfect for a Troma
festival or one off special screening. Has CITIZEN TOXIE screened in
the UK
yet? How about a TROMEO & JULIET / TERROR FIRMER / CITIZEN TOXIE
triple
bill? Let's Tromatize London.
Secondly, I'm coming to NYC on April 5th and being a cheeky little fucker, I'd like to come and visit Troma Towers. Is there any chance of popping
in
and seeing where all that independent movie magic is made?
Keep up the good work Lloyd and long live Troma.Kind regards,
DAVID ALLCOCK
The Mob Film Co. |
|
|
|
|
2-25-02
Dear Mr. Kaufman,
Those awards for worst films are coming up just around the corner, and
personally I think you should host the show, show the big Hollywood
mainstream fans what bad movies are, titanic, the new planet of the
apes, and the rest of those cheap ass movies. I think you should give
Hollywood a taste of some of that good Troma shit, that Terror Firmer
shit, that Toxic Avenger shit, that TROMEO AND JULIET SHIIIIT!!! oh
hell yes, but as we all know Hollywood and the mainstream are not ready
at all for anything as great as terror firmer, am I right? ooh and by
the way, I was doing the trivia on the DVD and you were attacked on
a TV show? which one was it and why and who attacked you. Me and my
friends have been having a fit over some of these questions, a believable
bum on rocky. Well keep making that GOOD SHIT! and Hollywood can kiss
Tromas big hairy ASS!!
Long live Troma,
Bob Dots |
2-25-02
Hello,
Let me first say it's a great pleasure to write you. You have brought
such enjoyment and entertainment to me with all of your movies. I hope
the magic that you create will continue for a very long time.
I would love to receive an autograph from you for my personal collection.
If you could please let me know what I have to do in order to receive
on. Thanks for your time, your the best.
Sincerely a big fan,
Scott Palmucci |
2-25-02
Hello there Mr.
Kaufman!
It's me, Alberto Giovannelli!! I just wanted to email you to let you
know that I had the time of my life yesterday! I had my troma supporter
hat, Toxie ring, my 2 troma buttons, and you signed my Toxic Avenger
1 sheet poster as well as the photo of you and Sarah from Citizen Toxie:The
Toxic Avenger 4. You signed right on the girl's belly "not Alberto's
baby" and "to tromalberto, thanks for having such a cool dad".
Mr. Kaufman, I was extremely nervous yesterday because I was so excited
to meet you and shake your hand. Thank you for Rockabilly Vampire and
for the Troma newspaper that you gave me personally from you from your
briefcase!!! You even put me on your camcorder!!!!! That was the highlight
of my dad right there Mr.Kaufman!! I just wanted to tell you thank you
and that yesterday was the greatest day of my entire life. Last night
was my dad's first time seeing Citizen Toxie (although for me it was
my 3rd time. I got my package on Friday. You don't understand how much
Troma means to me, as I am a Tromatic nutcase for Troma :-) Anyways,
unfortunately, I will not be able to see you again this weekend as I
have (lol) no money to go the Megacon and my mom doesn't feel good,
so I have no ride to get to Virgin megastore, where I would've been
wearing my Troma hat...AS I AM THE TROMA SUPPORTER! Not a day, goes
by where I wear my hat and especially my ring. I even got my friend
(who, isn't a Troma fan...dumbass he is) telling me about Toxic Avenger
and stuff, because I never shut up about Troma. So, I just wanted to
drop you and email to tell you thank you for shaking my hand and giving
me your Troma Times newspaper. Last night was my favorite night of my
life (yes, even beating the time I went to go see the MISFITS live at
house of blues....but then again, the lead singer and drummer {Graves
and Chud} left the band...so that wasn't really cool).
Tromatically yours,
Alberto "Not the father of Sarah's baby" Giovannelli
LONG LIVE TROMA!!!!!!!!! |
2-25-02
hey
Lloyd,
hows it going
in tromaville, I just recently bought the best of the troma
dance dvd, it kicked fucking ass, I really like the h.r pukenshette,
it was
funny as hell, can you send films into tromadance early for 2003, me
and my
friends are working on a couple right now, there not going to be as
home
video like as the others we sent in for this year ( pulse, a killer
movie,
and central nerve ), we're getting a better camera, I was also wondering
where
the hell can I get a troma shirt, I remember a bunch of shirts also
posters
for sale on the troma website about a year ago, what happened?????,
is there
anyway I can still get one.
Thanks,
Jeff Williams
badhabitspud@aol.com
Shirts and other
Troma apparel can be found in the studio
store |
2-25-02
Hey Lloyd,
I just wanted to tell you I just finished reading your book. It was
great. I
did learn quite a few things about production as well as your history.
I
just wanted to say that it was a great read and I am awaiting your next.
I
am a movie maker as well and your book definetly helped out a lot with
effects and just what it takes to come up with, deal with, and what
to
expect when creating art. You're little side notes and bottom notes
were
also great. So Mr. Kaufman let me say thanks for your classic/classy
movies
as well as the help for some of my upcoming movies. Good luck with future
projects and congrats on your success with Toxie 4 and your 27 year
history
as the true leaders of independent cinema.
Good luck to you all
Ron Sosinski |
2-20-02
I
just got finished with "ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT FILMMAKING I LEARNED FROM THE TOXIC AVENGER". WOW, I REALLY LIKED THIS BOOK!!! I'm an
just
learning and really getting into filmmaking and I've been trying to
learn
as much as I could, but my problems ran into how dry and boring most
filmmaking books are. Mr. Kaufman's book, I thought was a very interesting
read, alot of the time it was hard to to put the book down.
It's actually the first film book, I enjoyed reading, everytime it seemed
to get technical and start to get boring, here he came throwing some
off
the wall story, which definitely made for a good read. The best part
is,
I walked away after reading the book, with a better understanding of
the
business as a whole.
Thank you LLOYD,
Don Sandberg
PS, Thanks for all the cool fucked-up movies growing up
|
2-18-02
Dear Mr. Kaufman,
I'm a big fan
of Troma. I was very impressed that you released Stendhal Syndrome on
dvd. Argento is one of my all time favorite directors. Anyway I'm a
Junior in High School and would really like to get into the film business.
I want to be a director or do SFX. How would I go about getting a job
at Troma after High School? I think that you and Michael Herz are the
Arkoff and Corman of today. I love your movies. My favorite thing about
them is the black comedy aspect. I also like the fact that you don't
take yourselves to seriously. I have your book and have learnt a lot
from it. I also enjoy the many extras you put on your dvds. Especially
the tour of Troma Studios. I wish Citizen Toxie was playing in my city.
I live in Phoenix. It's boring as hell here but I can always be entertained
by Troma movies. Thanks a lot Matt Coleshill |
2-18-02
Hello
there Mr. Kaufman! I've emailed you a couple times now and you've emailed me back EVERY
time and I thank you for that. My name is Alberto Giovannelli and I'm
an extremely huge TROMA fan! (but I'm sure you already know that because
of my numerous emails...you even told me not to watch your movies, to
listen to my mother to watch Lifetime because the hags on lifetime are
far more scarier than any monster from Tromaville lol) :-) I just wanted
to let you know that I live in Kissimmee, FL...which means....I WILL
BE SEEING YOU VERY SHORTLY AT MEGACON 2002!!!!! :-) Awesome! I'm very
excited about this because...1. I'ts my first convention. 2. The dudes
from TROMA are gonna be there. And 3. I get to meet the most greatest
director of all time (that's you in case you didn't know)!!!! So, I
am very excited about meeting you and shaking your hand (if possible).
You seriously don't know how excited I am about going to a convention
that has THE greatest director of all time AT MEGACON!!!!!...(and Virgin
Megastore)!!!! THANKS AGAIN FOR THE MANY KICKING MOVIES MR. KAUFMAN!!!!!
Tromatically yours,
Alberto Giovannelli |
2-15-02
You, to put it
eloquently, rule. I have always known this, and have frequently told
you. But now this is more true than ever. I would ask for your kind
indulgence as I explain why:
First, it's the Al Adamson collection, especially those available on
DVD. So far, I own two of these, "I Spit On Your Corpse" and
"Dracula Vs. Frankenstein", and am currently waiting on a
third to be shipped. (This third is "Blood of Ghastly Horror",
which I submitted an order for about a week ago, ordering "Rockabilly
Vampire" to be sent with it.) I have seen all of these, renting
them from an online club. I plan to order "Angel's Wild Women"
before long. I have spent almost all of my recent tax refund on Troma
movies. The Al Adamson collection has exceeded all of my expectations,
and this even with my having had been enjoying Troma DVDs for several
years. (Incidentally, I have three functioning DVD players in my house.
I am able to watch Troma movies in pretty much every room.
Second, you rule because of the release of the "Before There Was
Toxie" titles. I have the first three so far, and all of these
are wonderful ("The First Turn On" should arrive here by Monday!!!!
YAY!!!!!)Your director's commentary audio track is very insightful.
I only wish that there was a greater number of original features on
them, such as perhaps a section telling of the various actor's careers
after this particular film. Anyway, to get back to the subject, I love
all of the early films.
Next, it is for what would seem to be Troma's next production, "Sgt.
Kabukiman, LAPD". I read about this at http://www.imdb.com and
it does sound like it will be good, especially if you can get Rich Gianasi
to reprise his role as the main hero, and Susan Byun to come back as
the villain. (I call her the villain because she spent most of "NYPD"
either kicking Harry's ass or sucking his face. As we saw in this movie,
the Kabukipower is transferred by a kiss. We know that Lotus wanted
the power, and was jealous of harry for getting it....)
Lastly: "Terror Firmer", both cuts. I have both, and both
the "real" version and the "cut" versions are great.
I loved the inserts with you and Yaniv Sharon! The unrated version is
clearly superior, but you and Yaniv made the R-rated one entertaining,
too.
And finally, hail Millie Medina, too! Millie has always answered all
of my questions about my orders, in both a patient and a friendly way.
As for me, my only problem now is that I am a Troma completist; I wish
to have every Troma DVD, and in fact every Troma movie, ever made. If
it came down to a choice between buying food and buying a Troma movie,
I would have to think about it.
I'm sorry if this sounds like a too long, too gushing, fan letter. I
just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate all that you and the
Troma Team have been doing.
Hail Lloyd!
--- Jeff
Free the West Memphis Three!
http://wm3.org/
http://www.religioustolerance.org/ra_robin.htm |
Hey
there Mr. Kaufman! How is everything
going in Tromaville?
It's the same old story here in Northern Maine...
My
friends and I had a Funny movie night last weekend... We started
it all off with Orgazmo (You know you are from northern Maine when you
can name more than 10 Porn star extra's in that movie.) , Baseket-ball,
and the South Park Movie... We just can't get enough of Trey and Matt or their "family oriented" humor.
Then
after everyone got to the point of sleep deprivation Comatose and
decided to leave, one of my buddies and I trudged on into the night
with
Cannibal the Musical.
Hopefully
my Un-rated DVD of Tromeo and Juliet will be here by next weekend so we can continue this newly acquired tradition of indulging in the
twisted, warped, perverse, grotesque, taboo, revolting, repulsive, sickening, ghastly, filthy, sordid, horribly nauseating, wholesome and full of
laughs
movies that just scream TROMA!
Oh
yes... I almost forgot... A while ago I sent you a picture of my
friend JEN with her tongue out. At that time you asked if I could get
a Maine-esque Picture of Jen... and just so happens she just added one
to her web site. What is more Maine than Lobster!? Hope you like
it.I will also be
adding new pictures along with a comic strip based solely
on my friend Jerry to my web page. www.geocities.com/lord_wormie/Wormie.htmI also added
a Troma link, I hope you do not mind.Well, I better
get back to class. Since I'm physically in one right
now.
Have a great
day.
schpandoinkel!LJ JOHNSTON
Northern Maine Tromite |
  |
Dear
Troma,
I
was shocked and horrified to see the false pictorial representation
of me at my bakery, Bread & Cie in San Diego, CA. on your web site.
I demand an immediate and total printed and unprinted retraction. As
a matter of fact for the past few months I've been away on a "Special
ops covert Assignment" in Tora Bora, Afghanistan converting caves into
stone hearth artisan bread baking ovens. With the help of B-52's and
Daisy Chain bombs, I've perfected a "flash' baking technique for the
inside of these caves. Anyway, I don't even look like the guy in the
picture. Nor would I ever allow a so called "Troma Editor" to work or
for that matter even walk into my bakery. We are a respectable God fearing
family business. And if you believe I would, then you'd probably also
believe anything.... like that your president Lloyd Kaufman was a Chinese
Studies major at Yale or something equally preposterous. Oh, yeah: I'm
also not Lloyd Kaufman's brother. You can't pin that one on me. I'm
wise to your tricks: Every year you guys randomly pick a simple middle
class American working stiff like me and try to pawn Lloyd off as his
"brother". What an ill-conceived P.R. ploy to to make Lloyd seem more
like a "man of the people"; just an average "Joe" so you'll sell more
cassettes. Well, count me out of that little plan, bub. Anyway, if I
was really Lloyd's brother I'd probably have inherited some of his same
stupid sense of humor. And that's an especially crummy thing to accuse
a simple country baker of. It really burns me that you guys think you
can mill around Tromaville and slice up the 'flour' of America's working
class (me). I pan the whole idea. And if you ever even thing of adding
me again to the mix of another Troma P.R./Web site stunt, I say : "Bag-uette!"
(Bag it?!)
There's not enough dough in Ft. Knox,
Respectfully (?!) Charles Kaufman |
Hi, my name is
Jeff,
 IM a HUGE Troma fan, I've been into troma for about 3 years, ever since
I rented the Toxic Avenger back in 98 with my friend Wes. I own about
76 Troma movies and dvds, comic books, soundtracks, promo stuff, my
walls are filled with Troma posters and pictures from different Troma
movies, I even have 6 of the Toxic Crusaders figures still packed on
my wall. Troma is my biggest influence in film making, I've been filming
short films for about a year, I've made around 31 of them, I entered
3 of them into Troma Dance ( Pulse, A killer movie, and Central nerve),
there very home video like, I have no budget on them but its a start,
my dream is to make a full length movie and get Lloyd to produce it,
and to open a movie studio one day. The pictures I sent are from Sacramento
on dec. 7th, I got hooked up to go help out by Andre who works for Troma
in LA, he was a really cool guy.  I was supposed to be the Toxic Avenger
there but I thought another guy that showed up would be a better one,
so instead of that I got to do something even better, I got to film
the presentation with Lloyd's camera (it probably came out crappy,
I was so nervous I kept shaking the camera), I hope Lloyd was happy
with it, anyways the presentation was awesome, I was a great experience
for me, I remember being really nervous before meeting Lloyd, I mean
I was thinking here I am 18 years old about to meet my biggest inspiration
in life, but it all went cool, Lloyd was a great guy, really nice and
funny, he signed a bunch of stuff I brought, gave me some movies, posters,
and a bootleg screening of Citizen Toxie, that is a fucking bad ass
movie, I watched it first thing when I got home with my friends, anyways
I had a great time in Sacramento I want to thank Andre for hooking me
up, and Troma for putting out the best fucking movies ever, oh if you
want to paste this on the website you can the pics and the letter, its
cool with me, well I got to go Troma keep making the movies, ill always
be behind Troma to support them the best I can,
later.. Long live Troma!!
Jeff Williams
Badhabitspud@aol.com
Photo 1.) Jeff and Lloyd
Photo 2.) Jeff's Dad, Jeff, and Lloyd |
Less
than a month after my trip to L.A. and a warm welcome from the L.A.
Troma Team, none other than Ron Jeremy (star of Terror Firmer and the
forthcoming Citizen Toxie) pays a visit to my town of Muncie, IN. So
what brought this comedic porn legend to Pisswater, Indiana? Ron hosted
a fantastic booty-shake/lapdance contest at Dill Street Bar & Grill
(voted as one of Playboy's Top 10 college bars two years ago.) Ron arrived
late and was pressed to get thru the contests before the bar closed!
Ball State just has too many ladies that want to degrade themselves
for the chance to win cash, BUT the bars must close at 3AM! Ron signed
and licked a couple pairs of breasts for the cameras (Outshots.com was
shooting a crazy college girls video) BUT Ron was far too exhausted
and behind schedule for anyone to take up his precious time...EXCEPT
a Troma Fan. A huge line had formed outside the break room and no one
was allowed in the back by the bouncers, but all I had to do was hold
my copy of Terror Firmer in the air. Ron spotted it, and called me in
to autograph it. Just another fine example of Troma hospitality. Kudos
to the Legend of Ron Jeremy! So here's your Ron Jeremy Christmas card.
May all of your holidays be happy ones!
God bless,
Joe Whetsel |
Hi Lloyd,
I have seen
Decampitated in VHS and I really think it's one of the best Troma movie
I have ever seen. I have also seen on the Troma website that it is not
released on DVD, I would like to know why and will it be realeased on
DVD soon??? Thanks!!! Pierre-Luc |
| HI, Lloyd!!! How are you going!!!
Do you remember the guys of DETOUR (the cineclub)? Here we are again!!!
Waiting for some news from Troma. We still want to organize TROMA IN
ROMA (maybe in april): it means a sort of TromaFilmFestival with Troma
stuff and independent italian stuff realized in Troma philosophy...
We would like also to sell Troma gadgets or films... because a lot of
people has no way to find all thi here... Can you please give us an
answer or give us a contact from Troma that can help us to realize this
tromatizing festival!!! Thank you Lloyd!!! Kiss every ass of your Tromettes
for us and say hello to the great Toxie... Hope to hear you soon!!! Anthony and
all Detour Team!!! |
geez, lloyd,
what's the deal with lawyers? they have no sense of humor or what?!
actually lost a fiance to one, so maybe i'm a little biased. look, there
is nothing i'd like more than to get bombed on $9.00 beers at loews
lobby bar during afm, and listen to your war stories. i'm a big fan,
I admit. i'd love to deal with you - no one else, okay? won't even open
eric's e-mails, because I don't know how to talk to a lawyer - makes
me stupid, i guess, whatever.
best. mike. |
I couldn't wait
to see the new Toxie film, especially because you used the "head-through-the-ass"
scene I suggested. So I got a few friends together, and went to the
Pioneer Theater for the Monday night showing (my one night off). The
scene looked great, and the movie was incredible. We watched the film,
and then we waited to see my name in the credits. Many went by, but
not mine. I know it's hard to remember everybody, but it still sucks.
I feel so used. Maybe you can get it in there for the video release.
Anyway, the movie was still great, so congratulations on that. I don't
know what else to say. Go to www.badbenfranklin.com.
It's still being worked on, but it's got some boob, it's got some blood,
and it's got some homeless ball-bag for you, the ungrateful - yet amazing/horrible
creator of great/crappy films - Lloyd Kaufman.
- John SzelugaSorry, I know
that I told someone from production to put your name in the credit file.
We will post a big notice on our web site and will try to add a credit
for you in the video and DVD. Thanks again for supporting us. Very Truly,
Troma Entertainment Inc.
by Lloyd Kaufman President |
Click here: Stop
Policeware - fight the SSSCA (Security Systems Standards and Certification
Act)
Dear Lloyd Kaufman,
and the Troma Team,
It has been
brought to my attention that a new law which would put government policing
software on every new computer has been brought to DC. Please check
out this web site, sign their petition to ban the law (the sssca) and
help in what ever way you can to spread the word and stop this evil.
Together we can keep our freedoms. Thank you, Tromatticly
yours,
Gerry Desposito |
Dear Mr. Lloyd,
I just wanted
to take a few moments to write you and let you know how much I enjoy
your works. I've been a big fan of yours for a long time. My favorite
horror movie has always been "The Toxic Avenger". The movie was so hilarious
and I loved the unique ways that Toxie would dispose of his enemies!
He sure had a great taste in women though! Keep up the great work and
I look forward to your next project. I know you get thousands of requests
such as this, but I was wondering if you could please send a personally
autographed photo made out to me, "Brian"? Your photo would definitely
look great in my home study. I know you're extremely busy with limited
time. I would deeply appreciate it if you could do this small favor
for me. Thank you so much, Mr. Lloyd, for your valuable time. Best of
luck to you always and continued success in the future. Have a wonderful
holiday and New Year! Your fan and
friend,
Brian Brinkley |
Hi Mr Kauffman,
Do you remember
me? I was the french who send you an email and asked for an autograph
a few month ago before the Cannes festival. Thank you very much. I wanted
to inform you that I made a french webpage about troma: http://tromafr.ifrance.com.
I'm already a beginner in webpage, so it will evoluate. Send me your
opinion about my site if you have some time for it. I really want Troma
to be much known in France. In advance, thank you very much Mr Kauffman. MICHEL Frédéric |
Dear Mr. Kaufman Greetings! I'm
Joan from the Philippines. Please send two autograph picture of yours
for my niece ai-ai and me.. we are such a big fan of yours. You are
such a great director... we are looking forward to see your next movie.
I pray for a positive response from yours. Thanks and more power.
Joan Lou Inso |
Dear Sir Madam,
I know that
you are no doubt inundated with requests, but wondered if you could
perhaps do something special for a very special person. Could this letter
therefore be passed on to whoever deals with such requests. Our son
'Jack' was born with Downs' Syndrome and a hole in the heart. Unfortunately,
he will require open-heart surgery to correct the lower two chambers
in his heart. My wife and I wondered if it would be at all possible
for a piece of paper or photograph to be signed so as he can take this
into THE ROYAL BROMPTON HOSPITAL in London, and keep beside him during
his stay. I know this is perhaps a tall order, but it would mean the
world to all of us, and 'Jack' especially. He has been so brave over
the last 7 months, I am sure that this will help him on the road to
recovery. Yours truly,
Kevin Scollick |
Lloyd,
Hello.
My name is Josh Feldman. I have been emailing Troma for years, ever
since I discovered Toxie on TBS late one night. Anyways... I have written
a speech about your life before, but now I am working on a much more
in depth thesis for my freshman film class at UC San Diego. My thesis
reads as such:
THESIS: The independent cinema, particullary Troma studios, have risen
in back lash to the mainstream, have created films that challenge conventional
movie making ideas, and have remained true to the "low-budget" ideaology.
I was wondering if there were any web pages that have genuine critical
review of your films, or if there were any other resources that you
might reccomend? Thanks for the help, I know you're a busy guy. I promise
to send you a copy of this paper when finished, as well as a copy of
my video taped speech on your life from when I was in highschool. I
dressed, talked, and presented your life as if I was you. Needless to
say, my teacher was not amused. I fucked that guy in the ass. Thanks
again.
Josh |
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Webisodes | Lloyd's MySpace Profile |