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Fan Mail from Troma Citizens
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"Dear
Lloyd Kaufman..."
FAN MAIL TO TROMA! (2006-01/present)
Want
to share your stories with Lloyd? Drop
him a line!
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| Dear Lloyd,
Greetings from Tucson, Arizona, where we anxiously await the September
premiere of Poultrygeist at the Loft Cinema. Members of Erotia Media - my
own video production company - will take a break from shooting The Five-Part
Zombie Trilogy to Un-Die For in order to attend. We expect the night to
culminate in a Babylonian orgy of booze, popcorn, wet T-shirts, and vomit:
the requisite atmosphere for any Troma Team Release. Local firefighters,
along with members of the National Guard, are on standby for the afterparty.
Anticipation is high. A good time will be had by some.
Now, here's a bit about myself (as if anyone cares):
It was some time in 1980 when I had my first run-in with a Kaufman
production. The film was called Mother's Day, and I had the pleasant (and
traumatizing) opportunity to see it, on a double-bill with Friday the 13th,
at the DeAnza Drive-In Theater, here in Tucson. Back then, movies were truly
magic for me. At the ripe age of eleven, I perceived the screen image as not
just a window but as a dimensional breach, which showed me a world within a
world, for better or for worse. And though I loved Friday the 13th, it was
Mother's Day that left the more lasting impression on me, and consequently
fuled my lust for filmmaking. To this day it remains one of my favorite
horror films - the ultimate parody of a (then new and now exhausted)
Hollywood formula - which demonstrates that a movie can be screwed into any
direction desired, yet maintain its integrity and originality.
About five years later, when Fangoria ran their first article on The Toxic
Avenger, I nearly lost my mind. Frantically, I sought a local theater that
had the cajones, or at least the audacity, to show this film. But alas, none
could be found. When . . . Avenger became available on video, I bought it
outright - and it was everything I imagined it to be. Unlike most
experimental films, this one delivered what it promised, and gave to its
viewers more than what they expected to see. Gone was the "seriousness for
the sake of seriousness" bullshit of independent cinema. In its place - a
party, a good time: gore and goo and humor on a level that can only be
described as "John Waters meets Herschel Gordon Lewis." It blew my mind. Any
movie with a line like, "I always did want to corn-hole me a blind bitch!"
had my rapt attention.
With the release of Class of Nuke 'Em High, I kind of "got" what was going
on with you guys. No small amount of envy possessed me as I dreamed of
owning my own company, making my own features, doing whatever the hell I
wanted to do, and doing it while being surrounded by naked young women.
Tucson, however, hadn't the collective drive to back my proposal for such a
"mini-Sodom," and I was left with neither financial support nor manpower to
achieve its construction. My scripts have survived through the years (some
dating back to '86), and with the birth of the new "Golden Age of Video," I
am now able to throw some material together and publish it on the Web. The
Five-Part Zombie Trilogy to Un-Die For is Erotia Media's first attempt at a
short film. It is only there due to Troma's continued existence, which
drives me on to complete the project.
My thanks to you, Mister Kaufman, and to Mister Herz, for keeping Troma
afloat, and for keeping us newcomers to film both inspired and active. Soon
I will buy the Make Your Own Damn Movie video course (it looks fantastic)
and will attend the Poultrygeist screening at the Loft. May you all have
continued success in the future.
Long live independent cinema!
Yours,
Nathan DaVayne |
May 7, 2007
Hi, Lloyd,
Well, I saw POULTRYGEIST in Amsterdam on may 24. And….. HELLLL WHAT
A MASTERPIECE!!! Last year I already mentioned that every new film you make seems
to get better than the previous one, and although after TERROR FIRMER and
CITIZEN TOXIE that seemed almost impossible, this one sure is a new highlight in
your filmography!!
The opening scene (which I already knew from the dvd that comes with the
soundtrack CD) is very moodsetting, and then things break loose, tuning the
set mood on its head and moving in all directions unexpected. The songs are
extremely inspired and the actors are very, very good, especially Kate
Graham who I hope will have a great future in many (hopefully Troma) movies.
I was eager to see how some of the scenes, of which I had seen the making,
would have turned out, and the results are stunning.
It is surprising to see that, in spite of quite a number of so-called
“politically incorrect” (how I hate that term, but you know what I mean)
jokes no one in the audience took any offence against and laughed merrily
about, it is the one about jews that caused some 7 or 8 people to
immediately stand up and leave the theatre, while it is not at all as
“offending” as many of the others. I doubt they knew anything about the
director of the sublime work they were watching…..
Unfortunately the 6 o clock premiere during the Night Of Terror on Saturday
was not an option for me, so I saw the Tuesday screening. Although they
obviously are not as loud (and, to be honest, sometimes obnoxious) as they
traditionally are during that Night Of Terror, I have tried to capture some
reactions from the audience during the screening of the movie, to record
that there were actually people in this strange part of the world who
actually understand intelligent cinema. I am editing some highlights of it,
and put it in the mail soon - although I am afraid it won´t reach you before
you go to Cannes. Unfortunately there wasn´t a standing ovation, but those
in the audience that didn´t walk out (all in all some 15 people weren´t
curious enough to stay until the end) loved it to bits and there was a round
of applause, which I don´t hear often in movie theatres. Even at festivals.
Don’t expect too much of it, but I figured it would be nice to be able to
show you some of the atmosphere in the theatre during the film.
There is one popular Dutch website devoted to films named “Kleine Dingen”
(Little Things), and in a regular update on the Amsterdam Festival of
Fantastic Film the owner of the site was very enthousiastic about
Poultrygeist. You can find it on:
www.kleinedingen.nl/diary/070427.htm What he writes about your film
(directly under the pictures fromthe movie) translates somewhat as follows:
When a film opens with an undead anal impulse, Lloyd Kaufman has something
to do with it, either by direction or inspiration. Slutty Students going
experimental, female suicide-terrorists sometimes wear a bikini and
chickenburgers afterwards even taste great for vegetarians. POULTYGEIST:
NIGHT OF THE CHICKEN DEAD is even better than expected.
Special effects are more impressive than ever, music is brilliant and the leading
parts are fresh and juicy. On many fronts this wonderfully crazy, hilarious and not to
forget side-splitting action-comedy is too Tromagisterial for words: Aching
jaws are no doubt less painfull than a broom through the genitals. One would
almost expect mass-suicide, but that is saved for THE KOVAK BOX……
(where the narrative goes on about that film).
Lloyd, thanks again for one hell of a brilliant cinema-experience, I am
looking forward to the dvd already, as I can’t wait to see the film again.
Should you come to Holland later this year I hope you will let me know, it
would be fantastic to shake hands with you again (and I still owe you that
meal…. )
All the best, an all the luck you cannes next week!!!
Sincerely,
Ton Olsthoorn
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September 5, 2006
Subject: Lloyd Kaufman YouTube video from Dragon*Con
Lloyd,
You are the coolest guy in the universe. My brother LOVED the Nukem
High box set you signed for his 30th birthday. I think it was his
favorite present.
Here is the short video I shot of you and the Tromettes on Sunday.
I promise to get my review of the Toxie novelization written ASAP.
I'll send you the link when it gets posted to Amazon.
Thanks again for everything!
Hugs and Kisses,
Christopher Thomas |
August 28, 2006 3:15 PM
Subject: I will be going to New York in October and I have a question.
Dear mr.Kaufman and the Troma Team.
My name is Bjarni Gautur, a 17 year old Indipendent Filmmaker from Iceland.
Like so many others, I grew up watching Troma films and they have not only
been my key source for movie making but how to do a good story, excellent
comedy and make a good film for atleast half of a Hollywood production. (I
was working on a big budget Icelandic film that costs over 100 million
Icelandic kronurs and I was shocked, seeing that the film had as much
production valuee as my film shot on less then 30,000 Icelandic Kronurs).
Then in 2005, I did not only get the honor of meeting mr.Kaufman but being
able to have him in my own film, Knight of the Living Dead. It was one of
the greatest moments in my life.
I'm mailing this because I am planning a trip to New York (Oct 15-19) and I
was wondering if I could meet up with mr.Kaufman again, see a tour of the
Troma Studios and maybe shoot some more scenes for my new upcoming film.
I see that he is doing events during the dates I'm flying, so I do hope that
he's not too busy, for I would love to meet him again, talk more about his
40 years in the business and shoot some more scenes with my idol.
I await your answer.
-Bjarni Gautur
Number 1 Troma Fan in Iceland
www.ibs-entertainment.com
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August 24, 2006
Subject: Latest photos from Matthias/Heidelberg or as WE put it, “A Tribute to Super-Troman, Matthias”
Since 1992, Matthias Diefenbache from Germany has taken a picture of himself and Lloyd holding the picture from the year before at the Cannes Film Festival in France. So basically what you see is a picture of Lloyd and Matthias holding up the picture they took last year of them holding up the picture they took the year before, and so and so forth.This is his first picture back with Lloyd since 2001 which you can see here. Matthias, nice to see you back, and you are certainly Tromtastic!
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August 12, 2006 5:09 AM
Subject: I Love You
I am totally in love with Troma. The Toxic Avenger, SGT Kabukiman, Class of
Nuke Em High, they are all classics. I'm in the Navy and stuck in
Washington, but once I'm out my dream is to be an intern at Troma on
whatever project is happening at the time. Don't ever stop doing what you
love. Independent cinema is dead, except for Troma. Keep fighting the good
fight.
Dave
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August 10, 2006
Dear Mr. Kaufman,
I've been a fan of Troma since around the age 9 (i am 16 now) and if it
wasent for Troma movies, I think the world would really suck (including
Mars). I mean honestly, who gives a shit about watching Titanic when you can
watch Surf Nazis must die, The Toxic Avenger or any other wonderful Troma
film? I have more respect for you than anyone else in the movie business,
cause movies should be about money, it should be about
art....gore.....boobs..anyways, watching Troma movies as a kid really
changed the way I look at life, I mean in one point in my life I thought
about killing myself and then I thought, "lots of people have it worse than
me, I mean, I could have it worse, I'am not a hideously deformed creature of
super human size and strength and I dont have a hideous trash talking
penis," so i put down the gun and watched some good ole' Troma classics.
anyways, enough about penises and suicide, back to the matter at hand, I
just want to thank you for all the Troma movies, your truely a genius, you
rule Mr. Kaufman!!! Can't wait for Poultrygeist! Welp, I hope everythings
fine, take care and have one hell of a day!
P.S. FUCK THE MMPA! The destory art on film! sorry, outburst..
your fan forever,
Nick Wooley |
August 9, 2006
Subject: Erin you met in Elyria!
 Hi Lloyd!!!! Here is the picture you asked for!!! You can post it if you
like!! Can't wait to see you at Cinema Wasteland!!! If you need a
Kabukiman and an extra Tromette Dan and I would be happy to volunteer!!
(Dan was my friend with the Toxie and Kabuki tattoo). Or, if you need any
volunteers to distribute stuff around Cleveland, let me know!!! Always
happy to help Troma!!!
Hope you and Lance are happy together!!!
Mel Gibson rules!!!
Love,
Erin
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July 14, 2006
Hiya, Lloyd
Here's the photos sarah and I took with you at the Sydney airport. Thanks
again for that and it's great to hear you had a good time during your
stay. The one of you and Sarah didn't turn out. After $20,000 of film
school I can't even take a simple photo! So yeah, sorry bout that. Oh
well, I guess you'll have to come back so we can take another one.
Man, I'm new to this whole MySpace thing and can't figure out how to add
you as a friend (did I tell you? We're best friends now. You can not
escape it. Mwoo hoo haa haaar) Can you add me as a friend? Pretty
pleeeeeease? www.myspace.com/pantscreep
Thanks homey.
Anyways, I'm sure you're a busy man and all so I'll leave you to it. See ya.
 Love,
-Chris Harvey
PS: Sarah sends her love too.
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July 2006
Subject: An Honest to LLOYD thank you letter about my Tromadance 2004 Experience
Hey Lloyd
What do I find while moving, changing apartments that is, well I'll tell ya it's gold it's golden wrapped in more golden. Well maybe more so for a huge fan and brother in Cinema. Go to the store and develop some film, and whamo, Tromadance 2004. I remember it like it was yesterday, my mind shocked at a chance to have something screened at a Tromadance, did you hear me? I said a fucking Tromadance in Utah. So bundled in a parka and sitting in my igloo I vowed to leave this Montreal insanity and check out the scene, you know show my respect to a master in independent cinema. I hop into a plane and fall asleep because there was no mile high club looking flight attendants readily available and even willing for that matter. I awaken in front of Brewvies it seems. Like some light casted down from the building next to it complimented by the singing sound of the plane engine resonating in my ear, I had made it. Walked into Brewvies and ordered a bucket of beer and waited for the movies to begin, I knew the festival would be great cause it's Tromadance, need I or you say more? Next day in park city same story, and the after party was just a blast I have some great video of that night, hilarious shit. But here it is.... Like I said those few days I hung with the crowd of you was awesome, good times and great memories, more importantly you gave me the opportunity to reach more people with some of my work, and just take a sweet ass vacation for a few days in Utah. So for that I thank you and I'll tell you now I will make another film that will hit the official selection for upcoming Tromadances, and would some way like to help out with some of your projects in the future, just because you are one of the reasons why i look at independent cinema as way more successful than the Hollywood shit machine will ever live up to be (Kubrick and Lynch are exceptions of course and some others) so I'd like to return the favor if ever needed. So remember the name chief I'll be seeing you around the cinema circuit again because we've already crossed paths a few times. One time you were actually dancing to a slide whistle for my friends dog's birthday on video, with Heidi the Toxic Avenger, Kabukiman and a Tromette, good times. But now I must leave for I have some editing to do, until the next time, cheers!!! Master Corporal Kaufman, this is Captain Stupid Moron signing off. I sent some pictures i had taken and recently developed even though most of my Tromadance experience is on video, check em out when you have the time.
Sincerely
Leslie Chartier
www.circlekproductions.com (my movie that played at Tromadance 2004 is there). New company website coming soon for Too Lazy to Live Productions
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From Josh Silva, Inmate #413933 S/O County Prison
We were so moved by this, we did in fact send Josh a care package of Tromabilia to amuse himself with or to use to barter with his fellow inmates, which ever use saves your ass the best! A few weeks later we received the package returned with a notice that prisoners there can not receive mail parcels. You would have thought SOMEONE here may have known that beforehand? Well, so far, I don't think he's caught wind that we tried to respond back to him, and hence his next message arrived in Tromaville with an interesting update:
Well, if any body out there knows Josh and how to get in touch with him, let him know that Troma will always accept any work he wants to do for free, and of course to stop by when he can to say hi and pick up his care package... it's starting to smell.
Thanks, Josh! Don't use soap if you don't need to! |
From Charlie Guzman about his opportunity to interview Lloyd for his Justin-Sienna Paper Exclusive:
Click HERE to Read Charlie's Exclusive Article! |
June 30, 2006
Thank you so much for this opportunity. Lloyd's on my myspace page as a hero and someone I'd like to
meet. This is a dream come true!
By the way, here's my earliest memory of Troma. I was about 15 and had the
>day off work because of a weeping sore on my leg. I rented the Toxic
Avenger and knew I had found something special, I had never seen anything like it.
I was contemplating Toxie in the bath later that day and the infection
popped,
spilling forth pus and a meaty cyst. It seemed oddly fitting.
Troma rocks!
All the best
Steven Jennings
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June 29, 2006
Subject: how about a lloyd kaufman original intro?
Dear Beloved Troma Folks,
Received the dv tape, with the fantastical footage of Mr. Kaufman
intro'ing the mighty Muffin Man, and I am truly, truly appreciative -
thank-you so much for the hilarious footage to cut with... I've
spliced together a 3 minute intro that has had me chuckling
throughout the 10x I've watched it now - thank-you, thank-you, thank-
you.
On a more personal note: Mr. Kaufman - thank-you so much for your
continued inspiration for and support of independent filmmaking - to
have a true icon such as yourself provide an intro for my humble
little movie is truly an honour, and I'm very, very grateful.
Thanks folks - I'll be sure to send a copy of the DVD your way when
ready! (hey, how about a Troma-released 2-pack of Rotten Shaolin
Zombies & Muffin Man? :)
- Blaine |
June 27, 2006
Subject: Thank you
Dear Mr Kaufman,
As a fan, may I tell you how much I enjoyed your book 'Make Your Own Damn
Movie' and your other tome 'All I Need to Know About Film-making.....' ,
which I am currently half-way through reading. These books are frequently
hilarious, sometimes surprising (eg. I never knew about your involvement
in Rocky), and very informative about the film-making process.
I am a budding film-maker myself, as well as a crime writer and
journalist. At the end f this year I will be shooting a mini-mystery short
film in Chester, in the North of England where I live, and hope to use it
as a calling-card with which to launch myself into film-making
professionally. I have read many film-making books over these last few
months and, while very informative, most of them are also very dry and
technical. But your books are in a league of their own. Your enthusiasm
has leapt off their pages and spurred me on even more towards my goal, so
thank you.
As to your films, I bought the double-disk of Terror Firmer last month and
enjoyed it a lot. You packed more extras on there than most Hollywood
blockbusters bother to do with their films, and I found the
behind-the-scenes documentary fascinating. Although I did fall asleep near
the end, but that could be down to me watching it late at night!
But as good as TF is, I think your classic is Sgt Kabukiman NYPD. It's
wonderfully silly, actually quite inspired and cultured (who'd heard of
Kabuki before this film?), great fun to watch and has a cute Japanese bird
(that's our slang for nice-looking women, by the way). Who could ask for
more - although the DVD transfer is poor and the sound messes up mid-way.
Bring on Kabukiman in London, that's what I say!
Many thanks for taking the time to read this, and I wish you all the best
for the future,
Yours,
CHRIS SMITH
Chief Reporter,
Ellesmere Port Pioneer
66 Whitby Road • Ellesmere Port • Cheshire CH65 0AA •
United Kingdom.
Lloyd's Response Later that Day:
Thanks,Chris...Your letter is better that a Banff or Oscar!!!
Please post a short review of my book on www.amazon.com and other similar
book and movie sites...Toxie loves you!
I'll be in Birmingahm and London soon;please keep an eye on www.troma.com
events section.
Troma Entertainment
by Lloyd Kaufman, Pres
Chris's Response Back to Lloyd's Response Back to Chris:
LLOYD,
Many thanks for replying. Not many presidents of movie companies would have
bothered - but then you're in a class of your own! I will of course post
some (favourable) book reviews on the web for you.
By the way, in Chapter 8 of 'All I Need to Know About Film-making.....' your
wife is quite wrong. The Zapruder/turn-on joke was very very funny. I'm
still giggling about it days after reading it. You should put it into one of
your movies. Or I might even use it in my forthcoming short film as a homage
to you and Troma!
Many regards,
CHRIS SMITH |
June 15, 2006
Subject: Stop the Muzzling of Twelve Year Old Mustached Political Prisoners
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June 9, 2006
Subject: Tis me, the letter writer with a MESSAGE!!!
Hey Lloyd, Mr. Kaufman, or...um...yeah,
Well I'm writing to give you the proverbial e-pat on the back for your
prolonged career in an industry that has increasingly pushed individual
creativity and vision aside for a market driven, bland, generic era of
cinema with pretty people, product placement, and piss poor presentation.
Lot of p's in there.
I can't say I'm writing as a total sycophant. I'm an author. I know, lots
of us out there though there are really only two types: paid and "bohemian".
Well, I am a true "bohemian". Got a few novels under my belt though I still
have as of yet to convince any number of publishers to give me that one go
at the broad audience out there. I can't say what I write is mainstream. In
fact, I believe some of my subject matter horrifies the suits that be. Not a
good result from something that is a comedy!
I'm not writing for a job. Nothing like that. It's just trying, you know,
to keep pressing forward. Everyone says no but I know I've got something.
Maybe a few words of wisdom, a "keep at it" so that I have some reason to,
well, keep at it. I could use all the accolades I can get. So, yeah, that's
me, my letter, my ramblings.
Sincerely,
Matthew Moses
Lloyd's Response:
Dear Matthew:
If idiots like us can get a novel published,I am certain you will do
so...Good luck.
As the Woodman says..."success is 80% just showing up."
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June 2, 2006
Postal Mail from Dale Devries
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May 15, 2006
Subject: Tribeca Film Festival Pix
Hello Lloyd,
Attached are the photos I have of the Tribeca Film Festival. (I'm the
one with the long curly hair. Terrie is wearing sun glasses.)
I'm glad to have met you and your wife Pat. Perhaps, we will cross
paths again, on one of my bimonthly trips from Connecticut to NYC.
Sincerely,
Rhea Caine
|
May 11, 2006
Subject: Donkerell!
Dear Mr. Kaufman,
Just to say THANK YOU for the brilliant TOXIC AVENGER novel - if ever a big
budget version from those jerks in Hollywood would be a possibility, apart
from yourself (hardly likely I am afraid) a certain person who recently made
a masterpiece by the name of SLITHER would be a good choice for a
director........
But that's daydreaming, I guess.
As it is I am eagerly awaiting the recently announced COMPLETE TOXIC AVENGER
box, which includes the best of them all: CITIZEN TOXIE. I hope there will
be an extra incentive to buy these films again for those who already own
everything seperately, in the first Tox Box and in the 20th anniversary
edition of the first film - like, say, the rest of the TV episodes of the
TOXIC CRUSADERS. (Heck, they might even be available seperately later, but
any excuse to get another version of this bookend box of brilliance is a
great one!!)
For now I want to wish you ALL THE LUCK YOU CANNES in france later this
month.
Let's hope (and maybe even pray as I hear that for your role in LOLLILOVE
you have finally learned how to cross yourself, so it could be put to some
good use here) for a perfect world for maybe just one day, and see at least
LOLLILOVE a worldwide sale and big hit - if there was ever one Troma film
that had some commercial potential even outside those intelligent enough to
grasp what Troma is about, it should be this one.
I got more to say - have to wait till later,
Best wishes,
(& hope to see POULTRYGEIST at the Amsterdam Festival next year!)
Ton Olsthoorn |
May 11, 2006
Subject: The Great American Headcrush
Mr. Kaufman,
I'm a 22 year old student at a little known film
school in Nashville; I was wanting to write and tell
you that you and Troma have had a profound impact on
the career path I've chosen. Since watching the Toxic
Avenger movies on USA, the Toxic Crusaders on Saturday
mornings, and the more risque Troma films late night
on Cinemax(without my parents knowledge, of course),
I've always enjoyed your "unique" style. My teachers
have put up quite a bit of opposition to my decision
to make horror films, labeling them "gratuitous and
sexist" and saying that they appeal to the "least
common denominator of human emotion. They're also not
thrilled at the plans I have for my first production,
a 3 minute MOS including retards...um...er...the
mentally challenged, rednecks...um...er...the
literarily challenged, and a glorious exploding head.
So here's a thanks to you, Troma, and the least common
denominator of human emotion.
Tromatically, Doug Mallette |
May 6, 2006
Subject: a long fan mail from a girl who just wanted to thank you and offer her time
Dear Lloyd Kaufman,
The chances of you reading my fan email...I hope are bigger then I think.
But
you have inspired me so much I felt that I would have to attempt to tell
you.
I'm a Baltimore resident, I grew up in Bars with transvestites with condom
balloons and Betty Page look alike.
I saw your movie tromeo and Juliet
before I
even knew what Troma was, and now thanks to my friend Will Krupinsky I have
been dunked into the waters that is Troma. And although smelly and infested
with bodily fluids, I'm enjoying your work.
I just finished Make your own
damn
movie this morning while heavily chain smoking, now I'm moving on to your
first
book which I borrowed from a friend. Although I bought make your own damn
movie....FULL PRICE...and ending up paying 32 extra bucks because my bank
account
was empty and well I'm poor...OK dammit moving on to the point of my email
to
you.
The reason I have found such comfort in your work is because I grew up
in
a scene full of the qualities that make Troma what it is. Its like finding
your baby blanket in a box...its like going back home. well I've been
interested
in film for as long as I can remember, which isn't that long due to the fact
that I'm only 18. I wrote a script in high school for the hell of it that I
hope one day to make about a lesbian vampire who fights zombies that are
part of
a Chinese gang. Now I'm working with my good friend will on an idea, so far
the title is Attack of the mutant zombie cult-leading morsecode-reading
killer
squirrel...FROM SPACE. Lol its a start, and I soon hope to make all my ideas
into something I can see on the screen. With the pay I make, and no prior
education except my own self teaching, I'll be lucky if I ever make it. But
that
wont stop me, I mean hell, has it ever stopped anyone.
I'm about to devote a
week of my life to the Maryland Film Festival, and I hope I don't get kicked
out
of the volunteer group because I was found interacting with anyone I think
has
money, trying to get them to support my artistic vison.My God I hope you
deleted this by now I ramble like my thoughts to you hold any significance.
Well I
guess I just wanted to say, you have made a difference in the world of
independent art, you have made a difference in how I see the world. Now any
time I'm
out I see the world as my set, and every person I see a puppet. I don't know
if that's a good thing...I hope it is.
Well Thankyou, Thankyou for
everything
you've done to bring art to the people. I would love to volunteer for troma,
but I wasn't sure if I could be qualified because I'm just a self taught 18
year old who has nothing besides her own drive for ultimate
communication..and
mind control ( I have been known to say that film is like mind control...but
perhaps thats something I should keep to myself) But if there ever was a way
that
I would be allowed by you there at troma to devote x amount of time to your
vision, I would give troma everything I had to give...that is my energy and
my
hard work. And I would think you would realize that I wasn't just really
crazy
and insane....but that I'm just a really devoted person.
Oh man this email
has turned out more retarded then I thought. If you've read to this point
Thankyou so very much for putting in the few minutes it took to get past
this long
fan mail.
Yours Tromatically, and apologies for bad spelling
and grammar I'm late for work why I would write
this 30 minutes before work I do not know but
anyhow
continuing..
Nadja Martens |
May 2, 2006
Subject: Troma is a godsend, a diamond in the rough,king of all indedendentfilmaking etc etc and plenty more asskissing where that came from
Greetings Mr. Kaufman,
My name is Vince, I'm quite the fan of your movies,
the Toxic Avenger trilogy and Class of Nuke'em High
movies shaped how i would forever view and love
lowbudget 80's movies. When you mention 80's movies
to some, they think of John Huges, but he didn't have
tits and blood and a healthy amout of violence.
Among
the many reasons I am writng to you other then to
proclaim that you do have more then 25 ppl in the USA
who love the work of you and Mr. Herz, I recently had
submited my resume to you HR dept. askign if you had
any openings for a PA for any upcoming movie
productions. Whiel I have finished your first book
and 2/3 done with Make Your Own Damn movie and having
explained in detail what a horrid position it appears
to be I'm still in trigued and interested because I
found out after graduting from college for the 2nd
time I had little interest in working in my field of
study and realized that I'd rather do something that I
would probably enjoy versus something I would do just
to make money. So basically are you in pre-production
for any new movies, are you in need of any PA's and
when and how do you interview for the positon?
Lastly
watching Tromeo and Juliet recently inspired me to
think that I could try to write a script one day, so
I'm in the process of working on a screenplay outline,
but i am having a hard time finding actual scripts
online so that I could simultaneously try my hand at
dialog and I would like to be able to format it to how
a finished product would look like showing actual
lines, emotions from cast members, locations,
descriptions of action sequences and such, do you have
any of your scripts or partial scripts posted online
that I could use as a format guide.
Finally I thank
you for all the wonderful films you have directed
and/or produced that entertained me when I was
younger(the cartoon was also kickass) and for
believing in the true to you anti establishment for
the past 30 years. As sad as it seems, the script I'm
writing would be plausible in the Tromaville universe
and I would have never even considered working in the
movie industry unless it was to start at Troma( I know
I'm setting my sights high above the bar), but Troma
is a place where any employee might have daily
interaction with you, the director, the AD and other
key figures that woudnt be possible anywhere else in a
studio, plus meeting Troma staple like Rick Collins
and Joe Fleishaker would be better then meeting an
A-list celeb because they started out as a sick in the
head fan as i did a decade or so ago. Looking forward
to seeing Citizen Toxie and Poultrygeist soon, peace
out.
A Troma fan for life,
Vince Ruffalo |
April 26, 2006
dear lloyd , i just visited your website for the first
time in a couple of months its great as usual i
wanted to take the time to write you and let you know
what an impact you've had on my life I've lived my
life in southern new jersey toms river I'm 31 when i
was in my late 20's i got a taste of my first truly
independent film i saw the toxic avenger I loved it
and ever since then have been a fan i have the first
3 toxie movies terror firmer and the make your own
damn movie dvd boxed set as well as the book i also
have your first book they were both were truly
inspiring and the message was simple get out there
make your own movie no matter how you do it , well
I'm happy to say i recently took a class at my local
community college introduction to independent
filmmaking and i just finished are first film
assignment we had to make a short film with one
actor no dialogue the only thing we were allowed
was background music . i decided to do mine about a
suicidal clown who's such a fuckup he cant get it
right anyway it went over really well my classmates
really dug it and then i work at a local art gallery
and we just started a few months ago a a indie film
nite were we show indie short films and the crowd
really dug it . i was hoping if it was ok if you
could give me the address at troma were it would reach
you if you could check it out and tell me what you
thought of it i really respect your work and
thoughts on filmmaking. yours truly john horgan
|
April 24, 2006
Subject: thank you
 hello from great Britain, hi Kiel and troma gang,
first of all thanks for showing Mel and I around troma
it was an experience, also thanks for the free posters
and merch, its a real treat to meet people who care
about there fans.
anyway looking forward to teaming up with you at
Birmingham show so till then, stay safe and keep
making those wonderful films.
If there is anything i can do to help you guys and
girls in England please just ask.... I'm happy to
help!!
Thanks again Alan
Ps please say thanks to Mr Lloyd Kaufman the photo
turned out great, I've attached it just in case your
sad, lonely and need a caring face. hahaha |
March 30, 2006
Subject: pointless thank you note
Like many in the wake of recent defeat, i have spent the last few months doing a fair amount of soul searching. I had made two feature films in twenty months, and what did i have to show for them? Exhaustion, an empty bank account, a few festivals that showed them at awful hours [and rightfully so] where maybe a dozen people saw them total. I tried to make 'serious' dramatic films....was it too much bergman and antonioni? was anything wrong with such pursuits? perhaps the fact that i raised the money by prize-fighting had left me unable to make proper decisions.
All i know is actors still walked away from me mid-word to give their head shot to the asshole who was an assistant director on a martin lawrance movie, and explained to me with a straight face about his admiration for 'artists with integrity' like steven speilberg.
So i found myself sitting in the living room, wondering what the next move was....thinking back to the points in my life that made me truly excited about movies....that shoved my into this direction...and i found myself thinking about the many nights i spent at a friends house, staying up late watching any goddamn horror flick we could find at the local video store....
and more importantly, watching USA's 'up all night.' i thought back to the first troma flick i saw: Class of Nuke'em high. jesus, how i tried to explain what i saw the next day to my friends....and how they stared back at me like a family who just discovered just how senile grandpa had gotten. So i sat down and watched a movie that celebrates the art of making movies. 8 1/2? fuck no, i watched Terror Firmer....and goddamnit, it made everything clear. I looked over my DVD shelves....for every Bergman and woody allen, there were just as many romero, fulci, argento, and yes, even kaufman movies....for every 'criterion release', there was an equal number of hammer house and troma releases....and right then, right there, i got a beaming enema of pure life-energy....i got on the phone and called up my most serious collaborator [mainly because he has the fancy editing equipment] "WE'RE MAKING A HORROR FILM, GODDAMNIT!....THIS SUMMER, WE'RE GOING TO FILM THE MOTHER FUCKER!"
"What's it about?"
"DOES IT FUCKING MATTER RIGHT NOW? WE'RE DOING IT!" at this point, should you still be reading, you're probably wondering what the point is or what the pitch is.
I guess the point is this: if jesus had set as good an example as you do, then christians would be as decent as people as low-budget horror film-makers. Now back to working on the script....these things don't write themselves.
thank you for your time,
nick
denver, co |
February 6, 2006
Subject: Texas Frightmare Weekend
Picture
So I'm sure you will get a ton of these, but here is our fantastically gay
looking photo together. You should definetly throw it up on your myspace
page. That'd make me so happy I'd poop myself.
-Jeff from Dallas |
 February 5, 2006
Subject: Texas Frightmare Weekend
It was great meeting [you and Fawn] at the show. Looking forward to the
up-coming Toxic book tour. I have attached all the Troma related photos I
took this weekend.
Now it's time to relax. While most of America will be
watching the Super Bowl, I am about to settle down with Tales From the
Crapper.
-Adam Leibig |
January 1, 2006
Subject: greetings from St.Petersburg, Russia!
Hello lloyd,
This is Val, we spent some time
together in Spb during your
russian tour, how are you doin`?
Me and Masha would like to thank
you for everything and espesially
for the interview for Sobaka.Ru, which was published
recently and you look pretty good there!
Hope you`ll enjoy the enclosed files -
two pictures of you and also pictures of me
at the halloween party.
HAPPY NEW YEAR to you, your wife and the whole TROMA team!!!
--
Best regards,
Bulavka |
Untitled Document
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Webisodes | Lloyd's MySpace Profile |