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 Greetings from Tromaville!
I’m Actium Maximus .
Sorry, folks, for being tardy again with my column. However, the column will probably be REtardy, as always. Ha ha ha, we’re all class here in Tromaville. Ugh… I need a drink.
So why was I late again?
Well, Lady Maximus and I haven’t been doing too well in our relationship, and we’ve been fighting, which has kept me distracted. But, this past weekend, I killed her, and bought a goldfish to take her place. And everything has been fine ever since.
Here’s some movies:
July New Releases!
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ZOMBIEGEDDON
In a way, this is one of the most controversial movies Troma has ever picked up. All over the internet you’ll find discussions: Is it good? It is bad? Is it so bad it’s good? Is it at least better than Slaughter Party (which, for those of you not in the know, was also produced by Chris Watson)? Well, I can’t decide for you.
A lot of you saw Chris Watson in Lloyd’s MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN MOVIE 5-DVD box set and were interested in the movie. Well, now it’s here, complete with 2 commentaries, an hour of cast and crew interviews, and tons more, including an Easter Egg (if you can’t find it, check back in August to find out where it is). Bill Gibron of DVD Talk highly recommends it, but I don’t insist you believe him, considering that he straight-up dissed EAST END HUSTLE and that ain’t right.
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EAST END HUSTLE
This is for all those fans who love a good throwback to the 42nd St. era of exploitation filmmaking. Sex, violence, and funky French Canadian accents. Some folks say Something Weird Video is where to find the best sexploitation stuff – fuck that, we’ve got one of the best right here. Speaking of which, if you still haven’t picked up ACTING OUT or VIDEO VIXENS, you’re missing out on some of our most interesting primo stuff from the vault.
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NYMPHOS BEHIND BARS 2 PACK: LUST FOR FREEDOM/ESCAPE FROM HELL
What would the world be like without women-in-prison movies? I hate to picture it, but it would probably be a much more sterile, docile environment where children are given devices to put on their heads to remove prurient thoughts, and everyone sits at home watching WHEEL OF FORTUNE, figuring out the puzzles until 10PM, at which point everyone goes to sleep with their hands slipped into electronic boxes which act as restraints to keep people from touching their genitals in the night. Then, at random, a wolverine is set loose to kill a few of these restrained people when the population gets a bit too large. That is why women-in-prison movies are necessary.
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 THE BROKEN MELODY
That alabaster-skinned beauty, Ms. Merle Oberon, whom you classic-movies fans might recognize from WUTHERING HEIGHTS or the Roan Group’s edition of THAT UNCERTAIN FEELING by Ernst Lubitsch, stars as the muse to a struggling composer in this musical melodrama from Bernard Vorhaus, the director of such Roan Group classics as FISHERMAN’S WHARF and WAY DOWN SOUTH.
A real rare gem, this disc comes from a well-preserved print in the Roan archive, and includes as a bonus an exclusive interview with award-winning director Bertrand Tavernier on the current state of the movies, conducted by Lloyd Kaufman.
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Coming in August:
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TROMEO & JULIET: 10th ANNIVERSARY EDITION
This set has taken more time and effort than anything I have worked on to date. There will be over 10 hours of bonus material in this 2-disc set including new commentaries with writer James Gunn (SLITHER), director Lloyd Kaufman (THE TOXIC AVENGER), and editor Frank Reynolds (IN THE BEDROOM); over 2 hours of interviews with cast and crew members including Sean Gunn, Tiffany Shepis, Debbie Rochon, Stephen Blackehart, and Lemmy; special featurettes with Lloyd and James before and after their new commentary session, Lloyd and James visiting Eli Roth’s birthday party on the occasion of the HOSTEL DVD release, and Lloyd and James in an exclusive extended version of Lloyd’s SLITHER set visit video diary (there are versions on the LOLLILOVE and forthcoming SLITHER DVDs, but both of those are cut-down variations of this definitive version); and tons more, including some delirious Easter Eggs.
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Coming in September:
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THE COMPLETE TOXIC AVENGER
Some have said we are “ raping ” our fans by putting out this box set.
Now now, we can talk this over. Here, have this drink. It tastes funny? I don’t know why that could be. What? You’re getting sleepy? Oh good, you’ve passed out. Now take it, TAKE IT! TAKE THESE 7 DISCS! Oh yeah, all four TOXIC AVENGER movies! Plus APOCALYPSE SOON: THE MAKING OF CITIZEN TOXIE! Plus all 13 Episodes of the TOXIC CRUSADERS cartoon show! You know you like it. How can it be wrong if it feels so right?
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THE EVOLVED
A lot of people these days are getting into the new crazy British comedy shows like LITTLE BRITAIN. Pish posh, I say. That stuff’s safe and sane.
Now, this flick, THE EVOLVED, is dangerously insane. Three people had to be rushed out of the screening of THE EVOLVED at the Cannes Film Festival and treated for psychological damage. Watch it if you dare, pussy!
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Coming in October:
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BLOODSPIT
This Australian flick is sort of like if the Addams Family were all vampires and were funny less in a macabre Goth-parody way but in a much more off-putting, tasteless, uncomfortable way. |
TOXIE’S SHOCK BOX
Who doesn’t love 15 movies on 5 discs in one box? Tom DeLay, that’s who. And that’s why he’s a bad senator. Don’t be a bad senator.
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Coming in November:
POT ZOMBIES
Not since Pericle Lewnes merged the Southern Fried Hick movie (for 3 examples of such, check out SGT. KABUKIMAN’S SOUTHERN FRIED COMEDY JAM) with the zombie movie for REDNECK ZOMBIES, has a genre-hybrid been as brilliant as POT ZOMBIES, which merges the zombie movie with the. . . uh. . . with the, uh. . . heh heh heh. . . Hey, man, don’t spill my bong, I’ve got to eat some people later.
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BEST OF TROMADANCE, VOL. 5
The best film festival ever (www.TromaDance.com) brings you the best collections of short films ever, and this newest volume will be no exception. I don’t have a list of definite films in front of me, but I’m pretty sure we can snag Giuseppe Andrews’s short film “The Fifth Wheel,” which like his award-winning short “Dribble” (featured on the BEST OF TROMADANCE, VOL. 3) and his feature PERIOD PIECE, raised a lot of eyebrows (and probably churned a few stomachs) amongst festivalgoers in Park City, Utah.
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AND LOOKING AHEAD . . .
• GIUSEPPE ANDREWS’S THE BATHROBE HOME SCHOOL BOX SET – After 2 ½ short years of delays just to tick you off, we might finally decide to release this 3-disc, 5-film box set in early 2007. If you’re lucky. Ahahahahahaha!
• GIUSEPPE ANDREWS’S OKIE DOKIE – The newest feature-length work from Giuseppe Andrews, which combines 2 completely different films Giuseppe had shot and edited into one scattershot whole of insane Giuseppe-osity. The disc will also feature the brand-new short film “Gwank.”
• BELCEBU: DIABLOS LESBOS – A Spanish horror flick, from newbie director Sergio Belasco, that mixes the gritty world of adult filmmaking with the garish glamour of rock n roll and places the Devil right there in the mix.
• OFFENSIVE BEHAVIOUR – The best movie about a nun who’s a hitman since SISTER ACT 2: BACK IN THE HABIT.
• CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL: 11th Anniversary edition – Featuring new interviews with Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and a new additional commentary with the OTHER members of the cast (gosh, I hope they get drunk).
• and much more!
Until next time,
What’s that smell?
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